An Unfinished Rhyme

Carl and I had such fun working together on this poem. This poem is a sequel to my poem Push. Freestyle poem

An Unfinished Rhyme:

 

Glory... to the unfinished rhyme;

let it wait among the lines,

vying for its turn.

 

As a maladjusted noir

struggled here before

till it is cleanly spun-

the unfinished rhyme

 

Pressing close to a misleading metaphor

the rhyme is at a loss for words.

 

Past rhymest bantered

still it lies unanswered

for needed solution-

the unfinished rhyme

 

Leaning again against the imperfect rhyme,

an unfinished rhyme takes its time.

 

Struggling to an end

incomplete nature bends

the unfinished rhyme-

now satisfaction sublime

 

Finally at last!! The rhyme says its piece;

and, is happy with final release.

Author's Note

If you happen to read my poem please take the time to review.
I always review everything I read.
Thank you for stopping by,
Lisa

Reviews

[E.P. Robles]

A poem for you: LA CATEDRAL

Hail the uncompleted verse, in its state so diverse,
Within the lines it bides, for its moment to immerse,
A saga unresolved, a tale of noir and mist,
Woven into clarity, till its essence truly kissed.

Among metaphoric whispers, it wanders, seeks and lingers,
Words elusive, fleeting, like ephemeral singers,
Past rhymes have had their say, yet this one hesitates,
Questing for its resolution, as time oscillates.

Resting on imperfect beats, where irregularity meets,
Time becomes its partner, as patience softly greets,
Struggling through the maze, where fragments intertwine,
The unfinished rhyme persists, till its stars align.

Finally, the awaited instance gleams, as reality redeems,
The rhyme declares its truth, fulfilling its destined themes,
Contentment finds its way, a sublime, sweet release,
Unfurling its wings of words, soaring with newfound peace.

:: 08.09.2023 ::

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Wow, did you write this wonderful poem before or after reading mine?
If after mine, did mine inspire your poem?
And, did you realise that mine is a take off of the poem, PUSH, that I wrote many rears ago?
I love your words....
Lisa

[Lisasview]

Just reread your poem in reply to mine...
Loved it even more.
Lisa

[willweb]

I have so many pages the just have two or four rhyming lines written down that I promise myself I will come back to someday. It seems I see everything in rhyme but when a special one comes to me, I do write it down. Sometimes I go back and sometimes I don't. Now, after reading your poem I feel bad for those I left stranded...never went back for. : )

[Lisasview]

Oh dear those poor stranded rhymes...ha ha...
Good for you for writing them down...
Lisa

[John the Baptist]

If I could be paid a dollar for all of my unfinished rhymes, I'd rival Elon Musk.

[Lisasview]

Very funny dear John...
Lisa, early here in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

You two did a great job on this...that poor rhyme trying to get out.
Emily Dickinson would have loved this poem and her suggestion to the rhyme, "Go ahead, be imperfect; why don't you just be slanted or near?"

j.

[Lisasview]

This was fun to do... it was a take off of a poem I posted early... a sort of sequel.
Lisa, early morning in Spain

Lisa

[andrew mitchell]

A fun read Lisa like a funny limerick of old.

[Lisasview]

It was such fun to work with Carl on this one... A sort of sequels to my poem Push.
Glad you enjoyed the read.
Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

More rhyme for you dear Lisa. A whiskey night. A sad night. Lost a legend.
"We sought everything and we found only silence.
I loved you more than life and tonight.
I pray for one more second with you.
Love was so sweet and I need to taste the ambrosia of your kiss.
Once we were lovers and we forgot.
Dear love. I need to remember."
I loved your poetry dear Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
You are always so kind with your thoughtful reviews...
I thank you,
Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

I adore your poetry dear Lisa. Without love. What would we become?

[E.P. Robles]

I am gutted.

This poem offers a vivid personification of an "unfinished rhyme," imbuing it with characteristics of perseverance, patience, and a yearning for completion.

It utilizes striking imagery and metaphor to encapsulate the process of creativity, suggesting that this rhyme is a symbolic representation of any creative endeavor that yearns for completion.

Throughout the poem, the reader is introduced to a protagonist, "the unfinished rhyme," caught in a constant battle to find its final form. This struggle is emblematic of the creative process and the angst that accompanies the act of producing a work of art or literature.

The rhyme isn't just incomplete, it's "maladjusted," "at a loss for words," and "leaning against the imperfect rhyme." These phrases evoke a sense of desperation and struggle, suggesting that creativity is not a straightforward or easy process.

I bleed these prhases too.

The poet weaves in various shades of noir, embodying the darker aspects of the creative process, including uncertainty, frustration, and even despair. However, these obstacles are not roadblocks but part of the intricate dance of creation.

The poem also employs a subtle metaphor of a creative process akin to a dialogue, with past rhymes bantered and unanswered, pointing towards an iterative and evolving nature of creative work.

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
This is actually a sequel to my old poem, PUSH. Carl really liked the last few lines where I said Glory to the Unfinished Rhyme, and together we wrote this one. I have never done that before and it was great fun...
Thank you for always taking the time to write great reviews. I read and reread your reviews... as they are always inspiring.
Lisa, still in Spain

[E.P. Robles]

I do not know Carl. I think someone who spoke about my prose mentioned his name. Who Is Carl? I would like to read his prose. Is he good?

[Lorry]

Ah, the niggle that refuses to wiggle, while tap tap tapping at your attention, as you pretend to pay attention to something else, in the hope that you can look at it with fresh eyes again and... Nope, that didn't work. Maybe I'll just stare at it so long it will somehow finish itself, but it never does.
But when that moment of inspiration comes, we get to unchain that weight from our mind and smile that it is finally complete... Or at the very least, until future amendments spring to mind. 😊
A very relatable piece, that I'm sure everyone reading it will recognise.

[Lisasview]

Hi Lorry,
Yes, I so agree. Many years ago I wrote Push, which is posted. Carl and I got together to write a sequel to the thought of the unfinished rhyme.
Thank you for your very kind review,
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Can take time to find a perfect rhyme. Easier to find a slant rhyme but if you are looking for perfection, it just won’t do. I have been there many a time with my older poems. I tend to write free verse now. Sounds like you and Carl had great fun penning this one. That rhymed too!! Enjoyed Lisa. Pleased to hear you are feeling better. Happy Sunday.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris,
Thank you... First time writing with someone...We wrote this because Carl liked my poem Push...which I wrote when I was much younger..And, yes, I did so enjoy it.
I just posted fairies, which you might like.
Happy Sunday back to you,
Lisa