An Unfinished Rhyme

Carl and I had such fun working together on this poem. This poem is a sequel to my poem Push. Freestyle poem

An Unfinished Rhyme:

 

Glory... to the unfinished rhyme;

let it wait among the lines,

vying for its turn.

 

As a maladjusted noir

struggled here before

till it is cleanly spun-

the unfinished rhyme

 

Pressing close to a misleading metaphor

the rhyme is at a loss for words.

 

Past rhymest bantered

still it lies unanswered

for needed solution-

the unfinished rhyme

 

Leaning again against the imperfect rhyme,

an unfinished rhyme takes its time.

 

Struggling to an end

incomplete nature bends

the unfinished rhyme-

now satisfaction sublime

 

Finally at last!! The rhyme says its piece;

and, is happy with final release.

Author's Note

If you happen to read my poem please take the time to review.
I always review everything I read.
Thank you for stopping by,
Lisa

Reviews

[E.P. Robles]

A poem for you: LA CATEDRAL

Hail the uncompleted verse, in its state so diverse,
Within the lines it bides, for its moment to immerse,
A saga unresolved, a tale of noir and mist,
Woven into clarity, till its essence truly kissed.

Among metaphoric whispers, it wanders, seeks and lingers,
Words elusive, fleeting, like ephemeral singers,
Past rhymes have had their say, yet this one hesitates,
Questing for its resolution, as time oscillates.

Resting on imperfect beats, where irregularity meets,
Time becomes its partner, as patience softly greets,
Struggling through the maze, where fragments intertwine,
The unfinished rhyme persists, till its stars align.

Finally, the awaited instance gleams, as reality redeems,
The rhyme declares its truth, fulfilling its destined themes,
Contentment finds its way, a sublime, sweet release,
Unfurling its wings of words, soaring with newfound peace.

:: 08.09.2023 ::

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Wow, did you write this wonderful poem before or after reading mine?
If after mine, did mine inspire your poem?
And, did you realise that mine is a take off of the poem, PUSH, that I wrote many rears ago?
I love your words....
Lisa

[Lisasview]

Just reread your poem in reply to mine...
Loved it even more.
Lisa

[Angelino]

I likes its bouncy feel :)
You have captured the ups and downs of an unfinished piece of work.

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh here is another one that I neglected to thank you for!!!
Thank you,
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

you bring this unfinished rhyme to life, a great metaphor;struggling to finish, compete with other, and then finally at the end, it is indeed complete.... like us struggling through life until we find ourselves through life's journey whether it be writing or singing etc.... well done Lisa
Warmly, B'

[Lisasview]

I just love metaphors... My original poem PUSH was written when I was much younger. Carl, read it and contacted ,e saying that he was inspired to write something using the line "Unfinished Rhyme" so we worked on it together. It was great fun.
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

Nice idea! And you're very welcome Lisa
Warmly, B

[William Michael Reeves]

I felt like you were writing about the tension and release rhymes create. Just like music, which poetry is. And you mention time. How important it is to set the rhyme aside, let some time decide if it feels right. To have patience and not force the rhyme. This is an interesting poem Lisa. A collaboration? I remember 'Push'. I believe it inspired me to write for it too. That's cool that it must have inspired someone else.

[Lisasview]

Yes, this was a collaboration between Carl and myself. Wow, great memory dear Micheal...YES, it was because he read my very old poem PUSH and was inspired... so we worked on this together.
It was such fun.
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

A Poet’s impetuous romantic persuasions as the days become a vision of Virtual symphonies… tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Hi Pat,
I always love your reviews...as I have said before they are very much like a poem in themselves.
Lisa, in hot and humid Spain

[Ken e Bujold]

Splendid poem Lisa. My fav of the many I have read. Smartly pitched. The rhyme, so often a poet's bane, can clearly be read as a metaphor for life, and all that entails: our unfinished business, set aside aspirations or intentions. A lot to think about here

hope all is well in Spain

ken

[Lisasview]

Good morning Ken from very hot Spain,
I decided to go back over everyone of the many poems I posted on this site to make sure I thanked everyone that took the time to review my work. I came across your your wonderful review and I see that I negleted to thank you!
So here is my belated thanks...
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lisa… I love to think in Poetic Verse… it seems to come naturally as though it was meant to be. Poetry does soothe my Soul. You are very Creative. I am still becoming aware of many venues of poetry while recovering from medical issues for myself and family. When I become inspired it is such a Treat to have a Muse. tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh, dear Pat... medical conditions...Well, believe me I understand... However, we still stay creative... right!! Saying that I am creative is such a very nice thing...
Lisa, still in Spain

[Patricia Wedel]

💗 love and rainbows 🌈 🌈… forever … Pat Amen 🙏

[emmajoygreen]

Unfinished rhymes made Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall and others simply laid and lay down their pens and give up, ' Leaning again against the imperfect rhyme, an unfinished rhyme takes its time. ' There is something in creating sentences out of common sense and.. a gift for poetry. How cleverly inspired you both were and are.

[Lisasview]

Hi Emmajoy,
What a sweetheart you are to say such kind things!!!
Lisa, still in Spain

[emmajoygreen]

I meant every word!

[Lisasview]

smiling!..............

[emmajoygreen]

me too..............

[Bhuyanshi Talukdar]

Your poem was truly beautiful and thought-provoking. The way you used the metaphor of the "unfinished rhyme" to explore the creative process was so clever and original, and your words were so evocative and powerful. I loved the way you captured the idea that sometimes creativity needs to be allowed to develop and grow in its own time, rather than being forced into a predetermined structure. Your poem was so inspiring and reminded me of the importance of trusting the creative process. Thank you for sharing your wonderful talent with the world!

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Did you read my original poem Push... writing many years ago... This was a take off of that old poem.
Delighted you picked up on what I was trying to convey.
Thank you for reading and for reviewing.
Greatly appreciated..
Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

If you had said, and found bliss in its final release, I’d have thought this one had been about sex.

W.

[Lisasview]

Very funny!!
Lisa, early in Spain