Wilted Soul

I wrote this when I was 20 in 1968. Thought I would share it exactly as it was written. Freestyle Poetry

Wilted Soul

Grey Streets - Grey People ...

Severed fingers;

that's all that lingers.

A glucose bottle reviving a wilted soul.

Another moment of life 

to be wasted with eyes closed.

Veins exposed - blue and purple.

Hearts exposed - empty.

Author's Note

If you happen to read my poem I would appreciate a review.
I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Raven A. Myn]

The poem itself and its message is wonderful, but the fact that it was written in 1968... takes it to a whole new level. Thank you for sharing this poem here. It's amazing how you have preserved your old writings.

[Lisasview]

I am a keeper of certain things. My poems meant a lot to me... but I never shared them with anyone until last year.
Thank you for your very kind words Raven,
Lisa

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! I love it. At twenty, wowzy. It shows your talent at an early age. Your pic of youth is gorgeous.
Deep message. Ills of society is revealed, empty- hearted humans, careless, non empathetic, selfish, greedy, egoistic.
Excellent!

[Lisasview]

Thank you for taking the time to read and review... Yes 55 years ago!!! Glad I kept it along with everything I ever wrote... Did you ever read my poem SCREAM ... I wrote it in my early 20's... and I remember where and why...I wrote it.
Lisa

[Sami Khalil]

Will check. You are welcome.

[Lisasview]

That will be great!!

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lisa... it is difficult to be present when Life leaves a loved one's Body and Mind.
Their Spirit must certainly "Live on". That is what I feel whenever I have been "present".
tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Well, this I agree with and I find it so interesting to read the many takes on my little poem...
read moreWell, this I agree with and I find it so interesting to read the many takes on my little poem...
Thank you dear Pat,
Lisa

[Glenn]

Nicely written. To me, it feels like this is speaking to the values of society. Written 50 years ago, but still applicable today.

-Glenn from California, living in Japan

[Lisasview]

Hi Glenn,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my old piece... I only started posting my poems for the very first time ever last year. There are several from when I was very young and then thought the years. You might like a newer one of mine,
AWAKEN,
Lisa, still in Spain

[Neville]

This may have been written some considerable time ago now, and maybe the inspiration that motivated the crafting of it has long since passed but whatever it was, has stood the test of time .. I shall not attempt to analyse it, for the simple reason, I doubt I could do it justice .. nevertheless, I think Wilted Soul must surely rank amongst your finest .. Neville, fresh from the shower ..

[Lisasview]

Hi Neville,
Yes, a shower always makes one feel fresh... Funny, I just asked if you had read this one....
Lisa, minds thinking alike

[Cherrie]

This poem is possibly a reflexion of a young woman learning. There is more to life than living for the moment. Which leaves us feeling even more disconnected and empty.

[Lorry]

The picture and the words go perfectly, showing us that some things just never change and hearts exposed mostly always lead to suffering of one sort or another... But what is poetry if not exposing your heart?
A finely crafted piece that reaches into our own thoughts, that maybe not exposing your heart would be a mistake, no matter how many hurts it finds.

[Lisasview]

Hi Lorry,
I really like your take on my oh so very old poem...
Yes, we all must keep our hearts open...
Having ones heart open can lead to many things... good and bad...
Lisa, finally finding 2 hours of quiet to write

[William Michael Reeves]

The IV drip has stopped. The bag of life is empty. Now the heart needs surgery. Those are some powerful ideas for a young poet to write about. Nice to see you share some early poetry unedited. Tempting to tamper with the original with new poetic knowledge, isn't it?

I hope there's less pain ... there in Spain. They can't put a clavicle in a cast, can they?

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your review dear Michael. Yes, I did want to tamper with it but I just let it be....
I wish the pain would end... going onto 6 weeks and you are correct no cast... and now no sling...
and, I am typing with both hand but with that stupid annoying pain...
Lisa

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

A very deep poem
Can be interpreted many ways that is a success I feel
Great write Lisa

[Lisasview]

You are so right dear Julie, my poem can be interrupted so many ways...Jacobs review is quite interesting. I might have been thinking exactly what he said when I wrote it.
Thank you for your kind review,
Lisa

[willweb]

Definitely a deep and touching poem that reaches to the depths of one's emotions and expressions. Really nicely crafted.

[Lisasview]

I find it interesting to read my old, old poems and to see what I was feeling then...
Thank you for your thoughtful review dear Will,
Lisa