Wilted Soul

I wrote this when I was 20 in 1968. Thought I would share it exactly as it was written. Freestyle Poetry

Wilted Soul

Grey Streets - Grey People ...

Severed fingers;

that's all that lingers.

A glucose bottle reviving a wilted soul.

Another moment of life 

to be wasted with eyes closed.

Veins exposed - blue and purple.

Hearts exposed - empty.

Author's Note

If you happen to read my poem I would appreciate a review.
I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Angelino]

Short and impactive. Unfortunately still relevant. It could have been written yesterday. Well done to a young emerging talent.

[Lisasview]

I love all the reviews I hae gotten on this older poem I wrote and finally posted... I was using metaphors even back then.
Thank you so much for your kind review..
Lisa

[Rachel Fitzgerald-Feele..]

Very powerful piece of writing and real for so many. RIP to those whose eyes never reopened! Thanks for sharing your earlier work

[Lisasview]

I am so glad that i keep my old hand written in pencil work from way back then.
Delighted you have found the time to read and enjoy my poems.
Lisa, early morning here...they say it will rain...that is good.
Lisa

[Rachel Fitzgerald-Feeley]

Good morning Lisa, many days of rain here. Maybe today will be dry. Happy weekend. Rachel

[Lisasview]

And, back to you...
Lisa

[Relic]

Through the eyes of a young 20-year-old I suppose grey people is a perfect description of what sounds like drug addiction and the trouble it brings. This is short but has impact.

Well done, Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Relic... Yes, living in Hollywood, Calif. the drug scene was huge,,,, I was never involved...lucky me..

[Lisasview]

I do not remember my thoughts of 55 years ago but most likely you are so correct... drugs...
Not me thank god...
Lisa

[Revery]

The long slow decline. I understand it. Well written. Isn't it ashamed we work so hard for so long to only end up with empty hearts.

The structure was pleasant to read.

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh Revery... I do hope that isn't the case..as it wasn't for me... I was only around 20 when I wrote this in the early 70's and my life changed as I grew...for the better!
Thank you for reading and reviewing,
I do appreciate it,
Lisa, now in Spain

[Lisasview]

Actually it was 1968..

[Richard M]

This speaks loudly of tension and confusion of a young life. Well written Lisa! I love the first line 'Grey Streets - Grey People' and the images brought of things people can't see.
Take care
Richard

[Lisasview]

I am delighted dear Richard that you really understood my old poem.
Lisa, still in Spain

[Coyote Poetry]

Hello dear Lisa. It is amazing how we can see things in our youth. I loved the poetry. Felt so real and honest. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Lisasview]

Yes, and I am so happy I kept all my writing... Let's me clearly remember how I was feeling way back when...
Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well dear Lisa. The poetry was wonderful. I like to read my old journals. Sometimes can spark a new poem. Hello dear friend. I hope you are doing well and enjoying the days of Summer.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so very much...Hope you are well too...
Lisa

[Susan 🦋]

You certainly have a lifetime of writing such wonderful poetry! Wilted Soul included. The poem is dark and reflects a hopeless soul for sure. Curious as to what inspired it. Perhaps one day those closed eyes will open.

[Lisasview]

Good morning Susan,
Thank you for your very nice review.
As I wrote this 55 years ago I am not quite sure what my thoughts were. Jacob took the word wasted (drugged) something I had not thought of until he said it... But, that makes sense as this was written in the 70's.... but, then again I am not sure... it could have simply meant that I felt people were not true...There was the war and drugs and at the same time free love...What a combination. But I survived it all...Did you read Screams? Another very old one.
Lisa

[Alla Antsis]

Lisa, Superb imagery and so current with today's world affairs and the human toll. Concise, effective emotional! Brilliant work!

[Lisasview]

Wow, I am quite blown away by your incredible review...To say Brilliant for something I wrote 55 years ago is quite something,
Thank you,
Lisa
Lisa

[Soren]

Lisa not sure how I missed this one. This appears deeply personal but at the same time applicable to all. A universal touch on human values and emotions. In some ways it seems archetypal.

[Lisasview]

Hi Soren,
You probably did not actually miss this because I only just posted it this week...
Thank you for checking to make sure you reviewed my work.
I so appreciated it.
Lisa