My first French Quatern
Had fun doing this.
You will see that the first line, in the first verse is repeated in the second line of the 3rd verse and so on. Eight syllables per line.
Having overlooked the accompanying picture completely (almost!) I reached into my thoughts on your very cleverly created French Quatern - and am most impressed. To have the skill and patience to produce what is such a gently flowing yet logically put post is quite 'something', Lisa. Did it take a while to have it as you wanted but all the while keeping to the recognised form? Am so impressed at both the academic side of this French Quatern and the tale it tells too. Nice stare, by the way! Just has long phone call - excuse typos!
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
I always love your wonderful reviews…
Thank you so much,
Lisa
3 Months Ago
Always a pleasure, without reading like a wine sozzled gusher.. I always enjoy what you have to say.. read moreAlways a pleasure, without reading like a wine sozzled gusher.. I always enjoy what you have to say, etc. :)
sorry i havent been on your page for a while. i regret it more than you. this was amazing. the repetitions and the perfect rhyme and metre had me bouncing in my seat. this romantic scene is drawn so vividly. the tension and anticipation was thrilling. while it is a tale as old as time, it was penned by an expert hand. very evocative and full of flair.
quite mesmerizing. there can be so much hidden in a stare. great writing. the repetition of "From 'cross the room I felt his stare." is effective. well done.
favorite - "laid me 'neath the secluded tree."
Posted 2 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Months Ago
I used the French Quatern poetic structure which why there are repeated lines...
Thank you so.. read moreI used the French Quatern poetic structure which why there are repeated lines...
Thank you so much for your review Pete...
Lisa
i love it .. well done! held to the form without trite rhymes now to rigid a rhythm .. i am inspired to (one of these days) give this form a try .. it so reminds me of my first "mixed" dance that i went to ... too nervous to stare .. but after the evening was almost over i did manage to do a slow dance with a black haired young Italian lady ... also reminds of the song and movie it came from https://youtu.be/E5dPtkVCRsg?si=1UbqDlAsG5RsSGJS i love this poem .. it's full of imaginings, hopes, innocence ... for me anyway .. so happy i stopped
E.
Posted 2 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Months Ago
What a wonderful review...and isn't it even more wonderful when a poem brings back happy memories..... read moreWhat a wonderful review...and isn't it even more wonderful when a poem brings back happy memories...I too remember my first dance in my first year in Jr. High School... I danced with ...oh gosh wait minute what was his name...I remember clearly what I wore...and how uncomfortable I was...
Oh gosh still can not remember..rats...
Lisa
2 Months Ago
i would be impressed if you did remember .. i wore a suit and tie and she, as well as all the girls,.. read morei would be impressed if you did remember .. i wore a suit and tie and she, as well as all the girls, wore the "Convents" prescribed dress code.. i went to a school taught by Brothers and the Convent was our alter ego ... pun intended ;)
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
2 Months Ago
I do remember my first dance in 7th grade. I remember the mustard stripe dress I wore that my mother.. read moreI do remember my first dance in 7th grade. I remember the mustard stripe dress I wore that my mother bought me at Sears.. I remember the boy that asked me to slow dance, finally… Billy
And I used to remember the name of the song…. It was 1960!!
Lisa
2 Months Ago
ohhhhhhhh good job darlin' !! i'm proud of you .. aren't i just like a man ... will not be able to r.. read moreohhhhhhhh good job darlin' !! i'm proud of you .. aren't i just like a man ... will not be able to recall her name at all but i can see her looks very well .. even now .. black hair, brown eyes, a little bit not skinny and shorter than i ... :)))))))
Is it normal that I feel ashamed and got blushed like my secret thoughts are revealed while reading it?? It is a beautiful poem that makes you feel truly alive. I feel intoxicated by that stare.
Beren
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Months Ago
YES, I do believe it is normal is a poem has an impact on you and for me knowing that you were moved.. read moreYES, I do believe it is normal is a poem has an impact on you and for me knowing that you were moved by my poem is really wonderful.
Thank you so much for your great review,
Lisasview, now in Spain
Beautiful poem Lisa. How well you convey this scene and the emotions generated. This is how I met my love, a stare across a room, so thank you for the memories. My heart just skipped another beat. I do appreciate the effort put into form poetry. Hoping your health is much improved dear Lisa. 🌺
Chris
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Hi Chris, so very nice to hear from you.
And, so very happy you like my poem... Interesting h.. read moreHi Chris, so very nice to hear from you.
And, so very happy you like my poem... Interesting how a poem can bring back memories... The Stare...making your heart skip a beat...wow!!!
I am way better...thank you,
Lisa
Dear Lisa...I love this poem!!! It's so well crafted, so subtle in ways, and so sexy as well....Each line meets the next with such poise and flow...."at times like this I dare not share"....a great line...and all of them are!
Excellent writing!
Hope all is well!
Warmly, B
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
I am delighted you enjoyed my poem dearest Betty... I have a few more new ones coming...I too enjoye.. read moreI am delighted you enjoyed my poem dearest Betty... I have a few more new ones coming...I too enjoyed writing that line...
Lisa
dear Lisa… a Poem of Romantic blossoms that are Rich in Earthly Rendezvous… leaving a Trail of Petals to press in a Book .. my ♥️ Heart is throbbing. softly, Pat
Oh my goodness my dearest Pat...When I read the part that Trails of Petals to press in a book, I was.. read moreOh my goodness my dearest Pat...When I read the part that Trails of Petals to press in a book, I was blown away.
Just the other day I found my mothers little hand made flower press book.. I had seem it when I was a child but only rediscovered it. She was in England...
She pressed all sorts of flowers and in lovely handwriting wrote their names and where she found them. This was 1934 and she was 13!!! And, I too have a flower press (wood on either side) book and I have flowers in that book that I pressed in my 20's...and I will continue now to press flowers..who knows someone in the years to come will enjoy them...
But long story short I just find it so amazing that you said this in your review of my work... So this is doubley... (no such word!) appreciated!!
Hugs,
Lisa, still in Spain
3 Months Ago
dearest Lisa… my Mother was as lovely as a flower.. I was her only Child.. she always said I was h.. read moredearest Lisa… my Mother was as lovely as a flower.. I was her only Child.. she always said I was her Rose unfolding.. I love Earthly plantings. Already this Autumn..🍂 I have Chrysanthemums in Lavender and Rose with a creamy White Pumpkin that to me represents Purity in our Terror torn World. The precious Children are my 🌹 Flowers. We need to protect them as well as the frail and elderly. You have Blessed my Morning with Generosity. softly, Pat
3 Months Ago
How sweet you are my dear friend... Love hearing from you...
Lisa
Read and enjoyed and with much respect .. You are much braver than me Lisa now reading and writing and reviewing again .... I would probably prefer root canal surgery than attempt anything as complex .. Neville towel drying his hair with one hand and trying to type with the other :)
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Thank you so much Neville for reading and reviewing my newest post.
This post was an interest.. read moreThank you so much Neville for reading and reviewing my newest post.
This post was an interesting challenge…
I enjoyed writing it..
I have 3 or 4 other new posts….
Lisa,
On my way to PT
Interesting to have a glimpse into each others lives…
I love to read poems written in form and i really do appreciate the time and thought that goes into writing them.
This poem reminds of a pantoum format which i used to write in quite a lot and very much enjoyed.
The content is endearing and lovely ...:)
Posted 3 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
3 Months Ago
Hi Stella, I need to look up the form you mentioned…
Thank you for your much appreciated re.. read moreHi Stella, I need to look up the form you mentioned…
Thank you for your much appreciated review of my newest post …
Lisa
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was 10..so 64 years!
I have never connected with any groups but recently thought why not..
So here I ..looking at where this adventure leads me. more..