My first try at writing a Ballad.
Composed in Quatrans: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.
Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...
Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a g.. read moreWow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa
A gorgeous ballad; written with wisdom for the ages. I agree with all. I do hope so. It will take all our voices and collective efforts.
I see you braching marvelously.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you for always taking the time to read and review my work.
Glad you liked it!!
L.. read moreThank you for always taking the time to read and review my work.
Glad you liked it!!
Lisa
' Let's listen close to what went wrong; - despairing wartime cries. ' Those two lines of yours make more calm sense than those in power who generally juggle their own political conflicts. Whereas you write with a powerful pen, spreading words for peace by looking at and learning from the past.
What I've never understood is why - if war is such a good idea, why has there been more than one?
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
You are so so right dear Emmajoy, why is there war!!
Glad you liked my poem.
Thank you.. read moreYou are so so right dear Emmajoy, why is there war!!
Glad you liked my poem.
Thank you for reviewing...oh, and I accepted your friend request.
Lisa
The wish for peace is such a hopeful balloon. It rises towards a sacred sky only to be pulled down by those with evil intent. Crafty politicians create the problems and innocent men, women, and children become cannon fodder. Rather than fold under the weight of merciless minds, we keep hoping and wishing, our eyes looking for a gentler sky. Well penned.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Hi Linda,
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Never have written anything like it be.. read moreHi Linda,
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Never have written anything like it before. Yes, hope is what carries us on....
Lisa, now in Spain
Wow Lisa! Your first try? So powerful in subject I forgot to examine your form as I read it. It was quite surprising to read you tackling a subject so strong. And you nailed it ... to the board where all should read it! The 8/6 8/6 count really carries thoughts smoothly like rolling waves of words. Excellent poem Lisa ... way over there, where you always share in Spain.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Hello my dear friend and poet from afar... I really found this one difficult to write..Not just beca.. read moreHello my dear friend and poet from afar... I really found this one difficult to write..Not just because of the 8/6 count but because of the subject matter. Delighted to know you liked it.
The reviews I have been so fortunate to get really are leaving me in a WOW state...I do not think you have read a few other poems I have written...Like Ruby Red Blush or Rainbow Ribbons... you might like those...
Thank you so much for reading my work and always reviewing...
Lisa
Oh my, I found this incredibly touching. I have a half Ukrainian goddaughter and have spent some time in Ukraine. It's hard seeing streets I know being wiped from the map. I have lost some good friends who have given their lives to the mere concept for freedom, thus, your poem hit me in the heart.
There is a melody to this poem that is stirring. The final line is the clincher "too many lost in youth". It is destructive for generations. I lived in Poland for decade and there was still a fear in the youth that for Russia they were unfinished business. I found the same fears as I travelled the neighbouring countries as people recounted the stories of earlier generations. I never realised until then how being born in England was a blessing.
I found the first line of the poem familiar, "surround out hearts with endless song". There is a rhythm to life. Even the worst experiences have a melody. We build soundtracks to the experiences we have. Songs can pull us back to a moment, a memory, some good, some bad. I think it is a beautiful line.
Well done, I love it :D
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Wow, what an amazing review Scott. I am blown away by it.
To say you love it is fabulous and.. read moreWow, what an amazing review Scott. I am blown away by it.
To say you love it is fabulous and of course your connection to it is wonderful!! I love your entire review. To take the time to read and review with such a detailed review warms my heart.
Using words like stirring...wow... Yes, being born in California and being free ...well, I was lucky..really lucky...
Lisa
A very strong poem on humanity against humanity, ugly lies and warfare, political nonsense…..and for what? We need not kill our youth because of hate and power….that’s what it’s all about….. we need to solve our problems diplomatically……and give hope to mankind that warfare should stop and let people live their lives peacefully.
Very strong and well penned poem Lisa, love the rhyme
Best, B.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Hi Betty,
Another fabulous review from you Betty! I so appreciate that you take the time to .. read moreHi Betty,
Another fabulous review from you Betty! I so appreciate that you take the time to read my words..
Thank you so much,
Lisa
This is a powerful statement and speaks to these current difficult times. Hate is such a powerful destructive emotion. It divides, destroys, and maliciously separates humanity. It keeps us from seeing our commonality as a species and the more shared qualities of our nature. Love is more difficult an emotion because it demands change in the places that define us the most...our heart. But there is nothing more alike within us than that precious piece of us. We need more poetry like this in these times we find ourselves in because they are a reminder of what we lose in ourselves when we fail to see what makes us most alike. CLE
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Good morning Carlos... to say we need more poems like this..mine is amazing.. Inspires me to write m.. read moreGood morning Carlos... to say we need more poems like this..mine is amazing.. Inspires me to write more and more..
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing..
Alway appreciated,
Lisa
Firstly, your intensity and empathy combined make this a poem to be read by one and all, Lisa. Its content yet again proves that our world is not the civilization we think it is. How can it be when in such chaos? Must add that your form and meter is first class - but doesn't distract from what you're saying.
Thank you so very much for sharing. Take care..
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Hi EmmaJoy,
I believe that form and meter is what helps make a poem "first class" and of cour.. read moreHi EmmaJoy,
I believe that form and meter is what helps make a poem "first class" and of course imagination, metaphor and several other things...I am so happy to know you enjoyed my poem.
Lisa
1 Year Ago
Oh dear, you might be shocked by my scribbling then. Am apt to try; continue trying then hope for t.. read moreOh dear, you might be shocked by my scribbling then. Am apt to try; continue trying then hope for the best - more often or not.
I was hoping you might catch an error or two... so I am so appreciative.
I am delighted that .. read moreI was hoping you might catch an error or two... so I am so appreciative.
I am delighted that you liked it.
This was difficult to do not only because of the structure but because of the topic.
Thank you again,
Lisa
1 Year Ago
Hello again,
Finally fixed the everyday to every day... I am going back and reading all my re.. read moreHello again,
Finally fixed the everyday to every day... I am going back and reading all my reviews...for all my poems... I am late in fixing because first I had the flu along with bronchitis for 7 long weeks, and then I broke my clavicle..so I am typing with one finger on my left hand... anyway this gives me time to make corrections..
I did post a few new poems..
Thank you for spotting th error.. I really appreciate your feedback.
Lisa
This is really very nicely written Lisa. Unfortunately this broken world will always be just that… broken. Your meter and rhyme is spot on. Displayed perfectly.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much Susan for taking the time to read and review.
Yes, sadly broken is the righ.. read moreThank you so much Susan for taking the time to read and review.
Yes, sadly broken is the right word...broken...
Lisa
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was 10..so 64 years!
I have never connected with any groups but recently thought why not..
So here I ..looking at where this adventure leads me. more..