Awaken

My first try at writing a Ballad. Composed in Quatrans: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.

   

"A w a k e n !"

Surround our hearts with endless song,

across this world of lies.

Let's listen close to what went wrong;

despairing wartime cries.

Of peace, our dreams are not enough …

beneath all anger shed.

Why do we always make it tough?

Time now to move ahead.

In open hearts, it's known what’s right.

So, step out from the dark!

With every day the thousands fight,

and leave their deadly mark.

Awaken hopes today with love,

and give way to the truth.

Believe in heavens safe above …

too many lost in youth.

**✌🏼**

Author's Note

If you happen to read this then I would greatly appreciate a review. I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Lisasview]

Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

Very nice. Lisa.
The ballad form was the one used by Emily Dickinson, and you handled it well.

Winston

[Lisasview]

Thank you so so much,
This one just bursted out of me...so so strange... some are way more difficult and I seem to work on them forever...
Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

I think it helps that we are familiar with this rhythm having heard it so often in our lives.

[Relic]

War is hell, as they say. The men in power that wear the suits and not the iniforms are where the trouble lies. This is a great poem Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Hi Relic, How wonderful to see you again... I have been away from writing for awhile and this is my very first one I have posted in quite some time!!
I will be looking at yours...
Thank you for your very, very nice review.
Greatly appreciated...
Lisa

[Neville]

My word Lisa, you are far braver than me .. nevertheless, I am delighted that you prompted me to visit these fine words this fine mane .. I doubt whether I could do justice to your chosen poetic form in a whole month of Sundays .. I am also pleased to report that I am very impressed with the content, structure and flow of this, your first ballad .. Oh' and it looks so good pinned to the page like that ..

Well worthy of at least full marks I imagine ... Tarah for now but dont be a stranger ..

Neville .. looking out of the window at the little wild rabbits dancing on the roof of his outbuilding ..
I know, who would believe it ..

[Lisasview]

Hi Neville,
I have no idea where this poem came from... it just happened... I am so happy you liked it and wow, thank you for your amazing review.
I can not believe that I found the perfect Image for my poem...Lucky me...
Yes, my first and only ballad.
Oh, how I adore bunnies...
Lisa

[Neville]

You are most worthy and likewise, more than welcome .. Neville

[John the Baptist]

I like very much the sentiments of this poem, for it is indeed time to move ahead. Still, the carnage continues to rage in Ukraine and other places on the globe. I like to think the tribalism which is behind so many conflicts is something we are gradually evolving out of, but progress seems slow. The fact that so many have nuclear weapons now is something less than comforting.

[Lisasview]

Yes, MOVE Ahead... but seems like we are all at a stand still... so nerve wracking.
Glad you enjoyed my poem.
Thank you,
Lisa

[Ayvid N]

This is such a beautiful poem in rhyme, meter and the message delivered in perfect tandem. You get to the core and crux of it and state the message powerfully. No more war. Too many lost in youth. I enjoyed this poem so much and took away so much meaning and joy from it. Thank you for sharing.

[Lisasview]

Wow Divya, what lovely things to say!!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review!!
Friends, Lisa

[Ayvid N]

You're most welcome dear Lisa.

[Alla Antsis]

How absolutely true! Thank you for directing me to your poem, Lisa! Resonates deeply with my sorrows about the war in Ukraine. "...too many lost in youth"

[Lisasview]

You are so very welcome Alla, I so appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.
read moreYou are so very welcome Alla, I so appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.
This one is quite different from my other poems.
You might like one I wrote called Innocence, filled with loads of metaphors..
I plan to read more of yours ...
Lisa, now living in Spain

[Soren]

Lisa, this is a message that hopefully some day may be understood by mankind. Until then we call ourselves humans but we have no humanity. We say we charish peace but we show little charity. I love the line "time to move ahead" yes we have in technology but not so in our social areas.

[Lisasview]

Hi Soren,
Sorry for my late response to your very nice review.
I so appreciate your words!!
And, you are so right!
Lisa, now in Spain

[Cherrie Palmer]

Your chosen form is an excellent canvas for your message of peace and hope for tomorrow.

[Lisasview]

Hi Cherrie,
What a very nice thing to say.
Thank you so much,
Lisa

[Gee]

Of course you already know that form, structure are not my thing, saying that this was flawless, a joy to read. Got to be my favourite poem of yours by a stretch.
Well done you Lisa

[Lisasview]

Hi Gee,
What a nice thing to say... The mere fact that you read my work, even though you are not crazy about form, means a lot to me. I think once I finish my next two you might actually like those as well.
Thank you!!
Lisa, morning in Spain