Awaken

My first try at writing a Ballad. Composed in Quatrans: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.

   

"A w a k e n !"

Surround our hearts with endless song,

across this world of lies.

Let's listen close to what went wrong;

despairing wartime cries.

Of peace, our dreams are not enough …

beneath all anger shed.

Why do we always make it tough?

Time now to move ahead.

In open hearts, it's known what’s right.

So, step out from the dark!

With every day the thousands fight,

and leave their deadly mark.

Awaken hopes today with love,

and give way to the truth.

Believe in heavens safe above …

too many lost in youth.

**✌🏼**

Author's Note

If you happen to read this then I would greatly appreciate a review. I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Lisasview]

Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

“Surround our hearts with endless song,
across this world of lies.
Let's listen close to what went wrong;
despairing wartime cries.”
Thank you for telling me about this rousing song/anthem dear Lisa. The flow, meter, rhyme, imagery, all combine perfectly to deliver your most important message of peace. Kudos and thanks for this powerful write.✌️👏🕊️

[Lisasview]

And, thank you so much Annette for always taking the time to read and review... greatly appreciated.
Lisa

[YanZeros]

There is the Dark and the Light in this world. What we truly desire is our own Survival. Others prefer to be thieves standing at the top of dead bodies.

[Lisasview]

You are so so right!! Thank you for your review!!
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Lisa… our grandchildren try to live a fruitful existence planning for the future. The young people are the Hope of the World. I see babies and children everywhere I go.. their Mothers and Fathers are busy working and keeping Spirits healthy and Wise. The News is beginning to show signs of Repair. We can only pray and vote to return to a more Civilized way of Governing. tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Yes, dear Pat... we can only hope for the best in the future.
Hugs, Lisa

[Louisa Chan]

This is such a beautifully crafted poem Lisa.
Your message is a profound one.
I really like the syntax in your poem - though appearing to be quite short and simple, there's so much variety in the sentence/phrasal structure, and the meter and rhymes work well too. I particularly like your last line "too many lost in youth", indeed.
I enjoyed the read. Thank you!

[Lisasview]

Hi Louisa, so nice to hear from you.. and thank you so very much for your review.
This poem just poured out of me... as if someone...something inside of me was writing it...such a strange feeling..So happy to know you enjoyed the read. My first try at the structure of a poetic ballad.
Lisa

[Louisa Chan]

Nice attempt : )
when it poured out of you, it's the best....

[Stuart Munro]

Fighting in wars only wins you blood , we try and step out from the dark everyday , when light avoids us
Myself today I’m fighting cancer in three parts of my body , having chemo , to exist a bit longer
Maybe I will find out about the Seance Air , eventually , how it works lol, , and I can ghost you the answer 😂 , I really like your poem Chris , you can’t attack love or lose it ever , whatever happens to you
Hate dies it goes nowhere , Love lives for eternity

[Lisasview]

oh gosh..sad news..hope you are living a super healthy lifestyle..clean food, etc...we all want you to stay here...
by the way this is my poem not Chris
Lisa, now in Spain

[Stuart Munro]

Sorry Lisa , I’m fine with Death , I feel ok so far ,just a bit tired after chemo , I won’t miss the humans World
Never liked being with humans here apart from hearing the birds singing and the beautiful nature views and walks in isolation, cyber poetry friends suit me fine , no bad habits to share and irritate each other with , or get in a dispute 😂 I love your poetry , I think your talented at it , and I like what you write about , I will still be contact and writing my ditties , great to be friends

[Lisasview]

Love all that you wrote to me... Hope you are feeling better..
And, I am delighted we are still in touch...
Lisa, still dealing with my broken clavicle

[Stuart Munro]

Lisa ,Thanks , i had a couple of rough days but the last four days I’ve been buzzing , sorry to read of your broken clavicle , Healing soon I hope , have a great Wednesday

[Lisasview]

Thank you!!

[The_Ancient_Rock]

Yes Lisa...

Very good poem indeed... so true.

Funny thing I find about Human psych...

Is that many doing the war... must almost believe they are doing the best to stop it.

The real soldiers I mean... not regular people.

But I really don't know anything about anything...

Or almost...

;)

Yes please... Stop all wars!!! People are dying... more than the damn usual!!!

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Thank you so much for your super strong review!!
Lisa

[The_Ancient_Rock]

You are most welcome, Lisa!

;)

[Brad Dehler]

"To many lost in youth", heartbreaking but incredible ending. Thank you for recommending this. I do enjoy it. Very nice rhythm, fun to follow along, rhyming with ease. Such a nice proposition, to live in peace.

[Lisasview]

Hi Brad, Tying with my left hand finger as I broke my collar bone.. so this will be short...
Thank you for your positive review!
Reading itI am remembering that as a child I knew nothing of hatred or not living in peace.
lisa