Awaken

My first try at writing a Ballad. Composed in Quatrans: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.

   

"A w a k e n !"

Surround our hearts with endless song,

across this world of lies.

Let's listen close to what went wrong;

despairing wartime cries.

Of peace, our dreams are not enough …

beneath all anger shed.

Why do we always make it tough?

Time now to move ahead.

In open hearts, it's known what’s right.

So, step out from the dark!

With every day the thousands fight,

and leave their deadly mark.

Awaken hopes today with love,

and give way to the truth.

Believe in heavens safe above …

too many lost in youth.

**✌🏼**

Author's Note

If you happen to read this then I would greatly appreciate a review. I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Lisasview]

Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa

[Sami Khalil]

A gorgeous ballad; written with wisdom for the ages. I agree with all. I do hope so. It will take all our voices and collective efforts.
I see you braching marvelously.

[Lisasview]

Thank you for always taking the time to read and review my work.
Glad you liked it!!
Lisa

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome 😊.

[emmajoy]

' Let's listen close to what went wrong; - despairing wartime cries. ' Those two lines of yours make more calm sense than those in power who generally juggle their own political conflicts. Whereas you write with a powerful pen, spreading words for peace by looking at and learning from the past.
What I've never understood is why - if war is such a good idea, why has there been more than one?

[Lisasview]

You are so so right dear Emmajoy, why is there war!!
Glad you liked my poem.
Thank you for reviewing...oh, and I accepted your friend request.
Lisa

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

The wish for peace is such a hopeful balloon. It rises towards a sacred sky only to be pulled down by those with evil intent. Crafty politicians create the problems and innocent men, women, and children become cannon fodder. Rather than fold under the weight of merciless minds, we keep hoping and wishing, our eyes looking for a gentler sky. Well penned.

[Lisasview]

Hi Linda,
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. Never have written anything like it before. Yes, hope is what carries us on....
Lisa, now in Spain

[William Michael Reeves]

Wow Lisa! Your first try? So powerful in subject I forgot to examine your form as I read it. It was quite surprising to read you tackling a subject so strong. And you nailed it ... to the board where all should read it! The 8/6 8/6 count really carries thoughts smoothly like rolling waves of words. Excellent poem Lisa ... way over there, where you always share in Spain.

[Lisasview]

Hello my dear friend and poet from afar... I really found this one difficult to write..Not just because of the 8/6 count but because of the subject matter. Delighted to know you liked it.
The reviews I have been so fortunate to get really are leaving me in a WOW state...I do not think you have read a few other poems I have written...Like Ruby Red Blush or Rainbow Ribbons... you might like those...
Thank you so much for reading my work and always reviewing...
Lisa

[Scott Andrews]

Oh my, I found this incredibly touching. I have a half Ukrainian goddaughter and have spent some time in Ukraine. It's hard seeing streets I know being wiped from the map. I have lost some good friends who have given their lives to the mere concept for freedom, thus, your poem hit me in the heart.

There is a melody to this poem that is stirring. The final line is the clincher "too many lost in youth". It is destructive for generations. I lived in Poland for decade and there was still a fear in the youth that for Russia they were unfinished business. I found the same fears as I travelled the neighbouring countries as people recounted the stories of earlier generations. I never realised until then how being born in England was a blessing.

I found the first line of the poem familiar, "surround out hearts with endless song". There is a rhythm to life. Even the worst experiences have a melody. We build soundtracks to the experiences we have. Songs can pull us back to a moment, a memory, some good, some bad. I think it is a beautiful line.

Well done, I love it :D

[Lisasview]

Wow, what an amazing review Scott. I am blown away by it.
To say you love it is fabulous and of course your connection to it is wonderful!! I love your entire review. To take the time to read and review with such a detailed review warms my heart.
Using words like stirring...wow... Yes, being born in California and being free ...well, I was lucky..really lucky...
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

A very strong poem on humanity against humanity, ugly lies and warfare, political nonsense…..and for what? We need not kill our youth because of hate and power….that’s what it’s all about….. we need to solve our problems diplomatically……and give hope to mankind that warfare should stop and let people live their lives peacefully.
Very strong and well penned poem Lisa, love the rhyme
Best, B.

[Lisasview]

Hi Betty,
Another fabulous review from you Betty! I so appreciate that you take the time to read my words..
Thank you so much,
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome Lisa!
Best, B

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

This is a powerful statement and speaks to these current difficult times. Hate is such a powerful destructive emotion. It divides, destroys, and maliciously separates humanity. It keeps us from seeing our commonality as a species and the more shared qualities of our nature. Love is more difficult an emotion because it demands change in the places that define us the most...our heart. But there is nothing more alike within us than that precious piece of us. We need more poetry like this in these times we find ourselves in because they are a reminder of what we lose in ourselves when we fail to see what makes us most alike. CLE

[Lisasview]

Good morning Carlos... to say we need more poems like this..mine is amazing.. Inspires me to write more and more..
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing..
Alway appreciated,
Lisa

[emmajoygreen]

Firstly, your intensity and empathy combined make this a poem to be read by one and all, Lisa. Its content yet again proves that our world is not the civilization we think it is. How can it be when in such chaos? Must add that your form and meter is first class - but doesn't distract from what you're saying.

Thank you so very much for sharing. Take care..

[Lisasview]

Hi EmmaJoy,
I believe that form and meter is what helps make a poem "first class" and of course imagination, metaphor and several other things...I am so happy to know you enjoyed my poem.
Lisa

[emmajoygreen]

Oh dear, you might be shocked by my scribbling then. Am apt to try; continue trying then hope for the best - more often or not.

[JayG]

Well done M'Lady. Very well done. The only suggestion I can make(and of course you knew I would 😄 ) is to replace "everyday" in S3 with "every day."

[Lisasview]

I was hoping you might catch an error or two... so I am so appreciative.
I am delighted that you liked it.
This was difficult to do not only because of the structure but because of the topic.
Thank you again,
Lisa

[Lisasview]

Hello again,
Finally fixed the everyday to every day... I am going back and reading all my reviews...for all my poems... I am late in fixing because first I had the flu along with bronchitis for 7 long weeks, and then I broke my clavicle..so I am typing with one finger on my left hand... anyway this gives me time to make corrections..
I did post a few new poems..
Thank you for spotting th error.. I really appreciate your feedback.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

the....not th

[Susan 🦋]

This is really very nicely written Lisa. Unfortunately this broken world will always be just that… broken. Your meter and rhyme is spot on. Displayed perfectly.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Susan for taking the time to read and review.
Yes, sadly broken is the right word...broken...
Lisa