Awaken

My first try at writing a Ballad. Composed in Quatrans: 4-verses, Meter: Iambic Tetrameter and Iambic Trimeter rhythms. Syllable count 8/6/8/6 Rhyme scheme: abab, cdcd, etc.

   

"A w a k e n !"

Surround our hearts with endless song,

across this world of lies.

Let's listen close to what went wrong;

despairing wartime cries.

Of peace, our dreams are not enough …

beneath all anger shed.

Why do we always make it tough?

Time now to move ahead.

In open hearts, it's known what’s right.

So, step out from the dark!

With every day the thousands fight,

and leave their deadly mark.

Awaken hopes today with love,

and give way to the truth.

Believe in heavens safe above …

too many lost in youth.

**✌🏼**

Author's Note

If you happen to read this then I would greatly appreciate a review. I always review what I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

Should I say Mona (respect for Leonardo da Vinci?) Lisa?! ... Perhaps it should be so, but shan't never of ever be told as that which is logically, intelligently, & common sense reasonably so, as in containing and astutely & aptly pertaining to realistic truth of facts revealed, rather than concealed: I, as me, a true to Life's Tree, love your writing, for all that it is, and for all that it can/, should/would/ could/will ever of, perhaps, never, be to those with essence's HEARTS possessing EYES & EARS that damn well DO SEE & HEAR! You are a true Poet, a Poet-ESS, beyond any language's portrayal of defining or description... There IS no more that I, as i, can say ...

Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn de Graham

[Lisasview]

Wow, dearest Marvin... what a fabulous review...
Thank you so much... I try hard at being a good poetess...never seems like I have enough time.
Recently broke my clavicle... a real nightmare..
Lisa

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

i really appreciate this poem. first, the rhyme and meter was also well done. i found myself bouncing along. and perhaps chanting this poem for the world to hear might be a good idea, for it has a powerful message that is extremely relevant today. the engine of war is running at full speed... but only because we fuel it. love is what stops this hideous machine, something that is far too scarce.

[KWP]

and still we do not have the collective capacity to learn and I wonder if we ever will....

[Lisasview]

Yes, I so agree...
Lisa

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Ps listen on Spotify
To skeeter Davis song called end of the world link below
https://open.spotify.com/track/5DTOOkooKFUvWj1XQTFa09?si=XmKuXgPsTle18ZvJp-03Sg

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Yes wake up world to all the worlds govt lies I say too
Great write Lisa !

[Ellen Hammond]

Well said and wonderfully written! All of mankind needs to stop glorifying war and wake up to the realities of it, the lives lost, the destruction it causes, and the devastation it creates.

[Lisasview]

What nice things to say. I believe this is your first review of any of my work and I do appreciate it.
You might like Innocence ...full of metaphors...
Thank you,
Lisa

[Glenn]

Love the structure and rhythm. Great message and powerful imagery and and emotions.

[Lisasview]

Wow, when I make a suggestion you are right there... I thought you might like it...Hope you will find time to read more... I have quite a verity... So, I will reccoment another one that I especially like as it is full of metaphors...
Innocence.
Thank you again,
Lisa

[Raven A. Myn]

This is brilliant! Many poets seem to get lost in the meter and syllables and the poem itself loses its essence. But you have managed to avoid this common mistake. Kudos on creating such a wonderful piece.

[Lisasview]

Hi Raven,
Interesting that you say that about meter, etc. I for one really love structure most of the time..I feel that it comes naturally to me... However, this piece was written in the structure of a Ballad poem and so it seems to flow better.
I wrote this out all at once with very few corrections (in commas, etc.) I found the perfect image to set off my poem and I think this is probably one of my most favourites...
I am delighted to know that you like it. I believe I looked at you this morning, but I believe you only write stories... and I am so limited on time so I did not read any ...I think that was you??
Lisa

[Raven A. Myn]

Hi Lisa!
Yes, I am a huge fan of meter and structure as well. And if it comes naturally to you, you are one of the rare poets of our time. Do you have any favorite contemporary poets?

Yes that was me. I haven't posted any poems here because I'm not very confident about their quality. Will post if I write something worthy.

Raven

[Lisasview]

Good Raven,
Thank you for your very kind review. Sometimes structure come very easily to me and other times I spend forever on a poem.
I have no problem with a thought or with metaphors. I recently posted Wilted Soul which I wrote in 1968 when i was 20. I had absolutely no education in writing at that time and only recently got some help in structure, etc.
Lisa

[Raven A. Myn]

Hi Lisa,
Whoa that's a long time ago! I'm going to check it out right now.
Raven

[Lisasview]

Oh good...I actually have several old ones from 55 years ago posted...
HOPE, PUSH, SCREAMS and CRY are some...

[Raven A. Myn]

Oh that's amazing I'll check those out too!

[Lisasview]

Great...Thank you so much

[andrew mitchell]

Such a fluent tranquil flow of words of hope and peace. Having warmth on reading. Nicely done Lisa

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Andrew.. Aways appreciate your kind reviews,
Lisa, raining here in Spain

[andrew mitchell]

Raining here in South Australia

[Lisasview]

Interesting.... Lisa

[Mike]

A beautifully written and perfectly balanced plea for sanity. Well done, Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so very much Mike for reading my poem and reviewing it.
Lisa, still in Spain

[Marvin Thomas Cox-Flynn..]

I seek to add this grand piece to my Library of FAVORITES, but, sadly, the site will not allow me to do so ... if I read a piece of anybody's nobody's writing, and I I find that I respect and love it, then, then, not now of ("What the f**k!") ever when, I do, upon that moment of daring to comment in full honesty of my own personality, do seek to add such said pieces to my personal Library as FAVORITES upon & on this WritersCafe.org website ... Always have, always will, always shall, until my life runs still, breathless & essence-less ...

[Lisasview]

Sometimes the site can be tricky... I did recently find that i can share the poem I like to my email and from there copy and paste to wherever I like..
I do remember last year that you were saving my work to your library... really so flattering..
Lisa