I wrote this poem using Richards Five 'n Eights original form.
Perhaps some of you do not know what Butterfly Kisses are. My mother taught me.
We put our eyes together and fluttered our lashes.
I suppose they all cannot be happy endings. What begins as such a euphoric situation somehow breaks down and one floats away while the other lingers behind lonely. I like the rhyme scheme on your poem, it flows very smoothly and is song like to me. Very nicely crafted.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Good morning Will,
Your lovely review reached me early this cool morning here in Spain.... It.. read moreGood morning Will,
Your lovely review reached me early this cool morning here in Spain.... It was a delight to read your thoughts.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my work... I do so appreciate it. I am thinking you might enjoy the first Sonnet I ever wrote ... Hand~In~Hand or Cry...
Lisa
Yes, I know what butterfly kisses are. Probably some of the younger ones do not know, but they were popular, and fun, in days gone by. A perfect metaphor for a short love affair - setting the heart a-flutter today, gone like a fly-away butterfly tomorrow. A fine poem, Lisa!
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
I love metaphors dear Robert and I am so glad you picked up on this one....Really appreciate that yo.. read moreI love metaphors dear Robert and I am so glad you picked up on this one....Really appreciate that you took the time once again to read and review my poem.
Thank you,
Lisa, now getting pretty hot here in Spain
‘Is there enough time to reflect?’ I loved this whole piece and I love how this added to it, or I guess, reflected. It’s a lovesick poem with the shatters of heartbreak. Someone who left too soon /:. To me, that line really shows that feeling of needing more time in broken relationships, wondering if you have one more night to talk it through. The last stanza was my favorite, it’s just so perfect. I feel the ache and pain in these words, the coldness and the sadness. There are moments when you just have to watch the world fall apart around you. Thank you so much for sharing!
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi there,
So glad you related to my poem... Life and love can be so daunting... One must move.. read moreHi there,
So glad you related to my poem... Life and love can be so daunting... One must move on...and not carry the loss with them.
Thank you for reading and reviewing,
Lisa, late now in Spain
Yes! My mom showed us butterfly kisses and we have shown our young ones. I understand this poem and can relate to it as, I'm sure, can so many others. Sometimes it takes us by surprise and that leaves us with no closure so we feel naked until we fully comprehend...and have the last word. :)) Very nicely done! Temp
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi Temp,
I just love that I brought back memories to my readers... Makes me feel wonderful.read moreHi Temp,
I just love that I brought back memories to my readers... Makes me feel wonderful.
Thank you for reading another one of my poems...I do so appreciate it.
Lisa, back from morning at the sea, then a good workout, spa and finally a fabulous lunch, also by the sea... Now home time for wine (red) and a movie..
Ah, the pains of some moments spent tasting reality. Well worded and visual. --- Just a thought, --- "Insincere Kisses" might better fit the first line, but, hey, that's just one guy's point of view.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Actually I rather like like Insincere kisses... I need to ponder it... Always appreciate a good revi.. read moreActually I rather like like Insincere kisses... I need to ponder it... Always appreciate a good review with ideas... Thank you,
Lisa, now back from a super long day..
What a tender, thoughtful, sad poem love from you, Lisa. The 5-5-8 form seems to come naturally to you (I’m sure it’s not as easy as you make it seem), and is especially effective with this poem.
The title didn’t click with me until I read your explanation. My mom used to give us butterfly kisses, too. Sometimes she would do it on our tummies when we were really small and make us giggle.
Wonderful imagery in this poem. The emotion I take from it is a sort of resigned sadness, rather than anger or a feeling of being devastated by the loss of the love. Truly beautiful.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Your dear review Richard gave me goose bumps... I am so happy that I explained what Butterfly Kisses.. read moreYour dear review Richard gave me goose bumps... I am so happy that I explained what Butterfly Kisses are all about and that it brought back fond memories for you.
This poem was definitely one of the more difficult ones to finish... i do enjoy this new (to me) type of rhyming...but as I said it was so difficult not using slant rhymes... I learned quite a bit about all this from this poem...
Lisa, going for a swim now (6:30 in Spain)
I became older and I believe every kiss received. A blessing.
"Alone again, standing undressed.
Too late to find out
love's kiss was in doubt …
our time is now no longer blessed."
I do understand the above lines. When the sweet and kind become less tender. Break our heart. Thank you dear Lisa for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
First one to review my little poem.. Love is such a fickle thing!!
Thank you so much for your.. read moreFirst one to review my little poem.. Love is such a fickle thing!!
Thank you so much for your kind review,
lisa, now going for a swim in Spain
2 Years Ago
Hello dear Lisa and I hoped you enjoyed your swim. You are welcome.
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was 10..so 64 years!
I have never connected with any groups but recently thought why not..
So here I ..looking at where this adventure leads me. more..