I wrote this poem using Richards Five 'n Eights original form.
Perhaps some of you do not know what Butterfly Kisses are. My mother taught me.
We put our eyes together and fluttered our lashes.
I suppose they all cannot be happy endings. What begins as such a euphoric situation somehow breaks down and one floats away while the other lingers behind lonely. I like the rhyme scheme on your poem, it flows very smoothly and is song like to me. Very nicely crafted.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Good morning Will,
Your lovely review reached me early this cool morning here in Spain.... It.. read moreGood morning Will,
Your lovely review reached me early this cool morning here in Spain.... It was a delight to read your thoughts.
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my work... I do so appreciate it. I am thinking you might enjoy the first Sonnet I ever wrote ... Hand~In~Hand or Cry...
Lisa
Beautiful worded poetry and artwork , Lisa , with a sad outcome
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Back home now after a very long day of traveling from Galicia to our home...
Now I can respon.. read moreBack home now after a very long day of traveling from Galicia to our home...
Now I can respond to my reviews as the train did not have internet service..
Thank you so much Stuart for reading and responding to my poem. Saying that my poem is beautifully worded is wonderful And, I am delighted you like the artwork. When I saw it I felt it was so perfect...
Lisa, home, doing laundry as I type
2 Years Ago
Lisa , have a Great Weekend , Laundry can be interesting lol 😂
2 Years Ago
yeah right!!
especially after a vacation... It is all washed and hung up...waiting to dry..so.. read moreyeah right!!
especially after a vacation... It is all washed and hung up...waiting to dry..so now i have some free time to be on Writers Cafe
2 Years Ago
My wife I bought her for our wedding anniversary
A heated dryer , and an ironing board cover.. read moreMy wife I bought her for our wedding anniversary
A heated dryer , and an ironing board cover
Hysterical and oh so practical... Reminds me of an episode of I Love Lucy...
I am sure your w.. read moreHysterical and oh so practical... Reminds me of an episode of I Love Lucy...
I am sure your wife loves anything you give her.. After all it is the thought that counts...right.
Lisa
2 Years Ago
Yeh ! Especially those Spanish toe nail cutters , with shadows of two lovers kissing under a palm tr.. read moreYeh ! Especially those Spanish toe nail cutters , with shadows of two lovers kissing under a palm tree enamelled in Orange on the handle , a wedding present
Bittersweet and beautiful. Relatable to many. Love gone cold…
So funny, my mother showed me butterfly kisses too. Lovely artwork, rhyming, font, cadence. A pleasure to read dear Lisa.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi Annette,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my Butterfly Kisses poem. I so.. read moreHi Annette,
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my Butterfly Kisses poem. I so appreciate your kind words. They mean a lot to me.
Lisa, visiting Galacia, Spain
Similar to a butterfly's brief landing and then leaving. The beauty still sitting in our hearts yet no longer ours to hold. A touching poem, Lisa.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi Relic,
Delighted to read that you understood my little poem. Thank you for taking the time.. read moreHi Relic,
Delighted to read that you understood my little poem. Thank you for taking the time to read and review!
Lisa, now in Spain
I really enjoyed the rhyming scheme you’ve used here Lisa and felt it fitted the theme so perfectly, also the title line reminded me instantly of how fleeting love can be. (I haven’t heard the term in quite a few years)
Lathen
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Hi Lathen,
What a lovely review!! glad you understood the gist of my poem..yes, love can be f.. read moreHi Lathen,
What a lovely review!! glad you understood the gist of my poem..yes, love can be fleeting ...
Lisa, now in Spain
All moments are precious and worthy; they are part and parcel of our journey in life, although individual, yet universal in many ways. Those butterfly kisses come and go suddenly and we are left searching for more in Springtime. But other seasons of life have to run their course.
I love it!
You write classy.....
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Thank you Sami, thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I do so appreciate it!
Best to .. read moreThank you Sami, thank you for reading and reviewing my poem. I do so appreciate it!
Best to you,
Lisa, now in Spain
I very much like the phrase “lovers’ blisses.” And the way you turn the end of the first stanza is very nice. I honestly didn’t expect it.
The third stanza has a beautiful rhyme scheme. I would like to see more of it. I do like the main rhymes, but I always love it when there are sort of complimentary syllables, such as in:
“hurtful feelings left on love's bed.
Sheer curtains spread open,”
Hi there,
I think I had better be clear about the rhyme in this poem. The structure (designe.. read moreHi there,
I think I had better be clear about the rhyme in this poem. The structure (designed by Richard) is 5~5~8 syllables... so, the first two lines rhyme and the 3 line and 6th line rhyme...
Not sure what you mean by complimentary syllables.
As bed and open do not rhyme...
I see you have reviewed quite a few of mine so I will be responding now...
Thank you for taking the time to read and review and to leave feedback...which is so important.
Lisa, working on the computer in Spain
2 Years Ago
I clearly do not know as much about Enlgish as you or rhyming, so please excuse the lameness of my r.. read moreI clearly do not know as much about Enlgish as you or rhyming, so please excuse the lameness of my responses. It is my pleasure to review.
As for the complimentary syllables, I was talking about the "urt" in both hurtful and curtains, as well (though to a lesser degree) the "ee" in feelings and sheer. I read things wrong sometimes. Sorry. Thank you for any of your reviews in turn.
2 Years Ago
No worries at all... I was just wondering and wanted to know what you were thinking.
Perhaps .. read moreNo worries at all... I was just wondering and wanted to know what you were thinking.
Perhaps you need to spend some time on Google and see how to Rhyme. That is the best way to learn unless you have a teacher.
I do appreciate your comments because they make me think...
Lisa, early morning in Spain
After line 3 here it is apparent that this love affair is in trouble. Neglected promises indicate a change in priorities, and as the poem develops we see that is only the beginning. When that deadly "Adieu" is spoken, it's all downhill afterward. In the end, hopefully, a lesson learned. Never trust a butterfly kiss.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
John, How can it be that I neglected to thank you for your most appreciated review of my work? .. read moreJohn, How can it be that I neglected to thank you for your most appreciated review of my work?
Going through all my poems to make sure I have said thank you to all my reviewers I came across your wonderful review.
So a belated thank you!!
Lisa, still in Spain
a love affair that is a flutter of feelings...
and when we open our eyes, the other is gone...
and we are too sullen to open the shades...
"we're just dancing in the dark"----
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Such a clever and insightful review of my little poem... I so appreciate your thoughts...
Tha.. read moreSuch a clever and insightful review of my little poem... I so appreciate your thoughts...
Thanks a zillion,
Lisa, now back home after a rather long day
I give my baby girl butterfly kisses. But in this poem you seem to have them being done with the lips which is not at all what butterfly kisses are. Butterfly kisses are the fluttering of an eyelash against the cheek of the recipient, so, no lips involved in that. I was wondering if perhaps it pertained to the proffered artwork? At any rate, the remainder of the poem was quite sad. I was reminded of the song by Bob Carlisle in which he also gives his little girl "Butterfly Kisses".
Hi Fabian,
No, no, no... This poem is about lovers both receiving butterfly kisses and lip ki.. read moreHi Fabian,
No, no, no... This poem is about lovers both receiving butterfly kisses and lip kisses.... I am guessing you did not read my authors notes about this poem? My mother gave us eye to eye butterfly kisses... however as I was writing this I looked up what butterfly kisses actually are... and, Google says...they are kisses anywhere on the body with eyelashes..so not just the cheek or as I thought the eye..
Anyway, I am sorry if my poem was confusing..
Lisa, wondering..
2 Years Ago
Thank you for the clarification. So it's both. Sad that the promises seemed destined for neglect fro.. read moreThank you for the clarification. So it's both. Sad that the promises seemed destined for neglect from the beginning. A love without trust is love without honor and deceit is so treacherous.
2 Years Ago
Yes a love without trust is god awful..
I have been through that... well, when I was young a.. read moreYes a love without trust is god awful..
I have been through that... well, when I was young and non the wiser... time changed all that for me.
Thank you for rereading and reviewing my little poem...
Lisa, home now
I have been writing poetry and short stories since I was 10..so 64 years!
I have never connected with any groups but recently thought why not..
So here I ..looking at where this adventure leads me. more..