Calypso Strings

My Calypso poem is the first I have tried using Richards original "Fives 'n Eights" form. I really enjoyed the challenge!!

Calypso Strings

Calypso Strings played,

love's best plans now laid

all throughout twinkling starlit night. 

Waves move to the beat,

hearts feeling such heat …

arising, desire's sheer delight. 

Promises whispered,

no other sound heard …

dancing close, their bodies alive;

kissing each other,

no other lover …

keeping up with hot rhythmic jive. 

Delicious movements

mate bodies' groovements,

evening waning soon into morn. 

Eyes urgent with need, 

lust they must now feed.

Why, then, these young lovers seem torn?

Perhaps, there is more

they'll find at the shore …

answers they're both yearning to find. 

Fantasies portrayed ... 

are such dreams forbade?

Sensual thoughts dance through each mind.

Clear, brighter day starts, 

feelings gone from hearts …

against rocks, waves crash in dismay. 

Helpless lust withdrawn,

Calypso Strings gone ~

each lover departs their own way....  

--~·⟢*⟣·~--

Reviews

[Vol]

Lisa,
There are only a couple of things in life more intimate than sensual dance. It is a form of foreplay making hot, short breaths and languid, half-closed eyes, a kind of fall into another dimension just the other side of this one. You captured both the rapture of the dancers and the watcher. EXCELLENT job! If I may suggest, in stanza 4 you used the word "find" in two consecutive lines, Maybe change the first one to something like "explore?' I don't know... what do you think? Either way, reading this raised the temperature in my room by several degrees.
In the end, Lust is great fun, but it burns hot and fast leaving just the ashes to remember by.
DANG!

[Lisasview]

love your review vol...i am typing with my left finger as i broke my collar bone this past weekend.
i really appreciate that you read and reviewed my poem. and, i am thrilled that you found an error... best thing ever when a poet really reads and leaves constructive criticism. as this poem has a certain amount of syllables per line and needs rhymes..i will need to put my thinking cap on.
i completely agree about a sensual dance being intimate..i am so happy that you really understood my poem.
ps sorry my response is all in lowercase not possible to type properly with my left finger..
lisa

[Vol]

Ohhh! I'm So sorry for your accident... I am in a similar shape, having suffered major trauma to my left thumb... You never know how hard life can be until it is...

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
I am off my recliner and off pain killers (hate them) not that I am not in pain... Typing with only my left finger is a PAIN..
Gosh major drama to you left thumb..yikes.
Anyway, my plan is to work on my Haiku, first time I have ever tried this.
I want to thank yo again for catching the error in my poem..really means a lot to me when a poet really reads an makes good critics..this seldom happens.
If you have time I would love your thoughts on some of my poems..Perhaps you might like Awaken... or my very first, ever Sonnet, and the first poem I posted last year. Hand~In~Hand
Lisa

[Vol]

Hi, Lisa!
I used to say with a degree of pride "Ain't nothin wrong with me I didn't break." Not true anymore. I am still recovering from a couple of 2022 surgeries, and awaiting Dr's release to do the things that need to be done. So, I've spent a lot of time alone writing and thinking and writing, and... Life is more than the living, it needs to be examined and recorded...
The strange part is, I am a gregarious sort, I don't meet a stranger, and I can hold court with the entire room, but this solitude out here in the Llano Estacaco, has been invaluable. My little ghost town of Gouge Eye (Alanreed), Texas requires I drive thirty-five miles to spend money. And pity the poor person who wants to strike up a conversation... I wear them out!
So... Hello, there...
I am truly interested in learning more about my fellow '49er (maybe) expat new friend ... we kind of grew up together, children of the "greatest generation," but part of the second most interesting one in modern times!
Vol

[Chris Shaw]

A delicious close up passion filled dance session. The heat was on, so I was puzzled to find that as dawn broke, those lustful emotions had disappeared into the ether. What a pity they both went their separate ways. Good job Lisa. Hope all is OK with you.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris, perhaps one was married... or, although they were so lustful they realised there was nothing between them..other than lust and perhaps felt it wasn't enough..
All is okay but my days seems to disappear.. My gardener has been having one problem after another... He transplanted several of my irises two weeks ago but did them all wrong!! And, can not come back for awhile...So guess what Bob and I have been doing for the past three hours... right... replanting... only got about half done so far... Too hot now to continue and my poor back...so now we will have lunch and I will work on my poem... Thank you for asking..and, I am hoping all your laundry is finished..ha ha..
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Lisa… Love Temptation's moves by the Seaside as waves of Passion subside …. Now I feel twenty years younger.., ready for the Calypso… tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

What fun it would be to be dancing to the Calypso Strings...Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem dear Pat.
Lisa, end of the day in Spain

[William Michael Reeves]

That's some poetic gold! Delicious movements, mates bodies groovements. The grooves of our bodies as garments. The groovy movement of lust. The taste of a groove where salty sweat moves. It must have been too hot, your couple parted awfully quick there at the end.

Seriously, I hope you are far from fire, there in Spain. Some of that rain that falls mainly on the plain would be pretty nice right now, huh?

[Lisasview]

What a groovy review my dear friend... Loved it!!
Sad about all the fires...not close to use..thank goodness...
Lisa, late now in Spain

[William Michael Reeves]

I remember this one. No meter requirements in this form?

[Lisasview]

I used Richards original form Five 'n Eights on this one.So there are meter requirements...
Same as Butterfly Kisses.
Lisa

[Ruth Martz]

The dance is just a set up for them.LOL great poem💐🙏

[Lisasview]

Hello again Ruth,
Yes, music and dance can bring about so many wonderful things...
Lisa, hot here in Spain

[Ruth Martz]

It is extremely hot in my city, but England is getting it worse.

[Lisasview]

Where are you?

[Richard Knox]

Good morning, Lisa,
I read this a week or so ago, but I think I wasn’t in a good frame of mind when I first read it, so I didn’t comment. Now, upon rereading a couple of times, I really love it. The imagery is clear and powerful, capturing both the physical interaction and the emotions of the two dancers/lovers. I am moved by the sense of loss and disappointment, but also wonder if just the intense pleasure of the encounter was all that they really needed. Were they hoping for more when they should have just enjoyed the hell out of the moment?
Obviously, your fine writing has left me invested in these lovers, and thinking of them beyond the confines of the poem.
Richard, nearly noon here in Washington state.

[Lisasview]

Good evening dear Richard,
First, let me thank you for once again reading and reviewing another one of my poem.
Then, of course I am wondering why at first you were not in a good frame of mind to review... Was it my poem or just the way you were feeling at that moment?
My thoughts about my poem run arm in arm with you and your intuitive feelings... Perhaps these two met up for drinks and dancing... the music and the evening filled them both with thoughts of more as the hours went by... But in the end one or both of them decided that the lust they felt really wasn't enough...and, so they went their separate ways... There are so many different ways to look at my poem...But in the end they enjoyed intense pleasure for the evening...and, really in the end... What is life about anyway... moments of intense pleasure are always wonderful...
But then again, there is always the possibility of loss and disappointment... Ah well, C'est la Vie..
I always appreciate your insightful review Richard....
Thank you, 9:44pm here in Spain

[Richard Knox]

Good evening, Lisa,
No, it was not your poem that had me in an uncharitable frame of mind. I think I was just tired from all the visitors and activity of the previous two weeks. I hope you’ll have a chance to read the new poems I’ve posted.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Such a beautiful romantic poem
My niece when younger did Spanish dancing she lives in Nz I never saw it but the pic reminded me of pics of her they took of her years back
Loved the artwork
Well done to both
Do you paint too

[Lisasview]

Hi julie,
Thank you so much!! I really appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem.
Yes, I do paint...I am a professional watercolorist.
I teach art privately on line.
However, I did not paint the wonderful painting above.
What made you think I paint? Just curious..
Lisa, end of a long day in Spain

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

Well it looks like something you may paint 🎨

[W. Barrett Munn]

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with as I write is to suppress that ingrained necessity for meter and rhyme. You handle it better than I.

[Lisasview]

Well, quite hionestly my writing of poetry correctly is not ingrained... I so wish it was... I have never had any schooling in writing...but I have always written...
Thank you for reading and reviewing..Thank you!!
Lisa, getting dark now in Spain

[W. Barrett Munn]

We grew up with rhyme and meter and in school were taught rhyme and meter was what made poetry poetry. It is no wonder it is ingrained.

[Lisasview]

So different from what I was taught in school...in California..

[Neville]

aahhh that felt good :)

Neville now off to the land of nod zzzzzzzzzz

[Lisasview]

By now you are in z land... glad your seemed to like my little poem...
Lisa, back no from a rather long day.

[Neville]

you are more than welcome ..

Neville, now refreshed & raring to go :)

[Lisasview]

Almost 8pm...ready to watch TV and then I will go to sleep..after such a long long day..

[Robert Haigh]

A lively, romantic piece, with a touch of melancholy. Caught up in the moment, the senses and emotions are heightened to fever pitch, but sometimes such joyous moments are not meant to last. Ships that pass in the night! A fine, expressive poem, Lisa!

[Lisasview]

So glad you like this poem of mine Robert...I enjoyed writing it.
Lisa, later now in Spain

[Temperance]

Beautiful romantic poem Ms. Lisa! It feels as if these two lovers met for the first time that night encouraged by the music and drink and lust pursued then, when the morning came they went their separate ways because it was lust that brought them together, not love. That happens. I enjoyed the read and, even though I don't know much about the style, I think you did a great job! Temp

[Lisasview]

Good morning Temp,
Thank you for reading and reviewing my poem... You hit my thinking right on the nokin (sp?)
This was the first time I tried writing using Richards original structure. I loved doing it...and, so wrote 4 more after this one..
Lisa