Doorways

I wrote this when I was just about 20 years old. Many ~ many years ago..1968 -70 Free Verse poetry Photo - DreamTime

  Doorways....

Did you see me

   standing naked 

      by the door …

tears in my eyes,

   ready to pour?

A friend did …

   said I looked dead;

      as though, I lost my

         dearest love?

Seeing you leave

   felt like

      taking ten steps, 

finding I was

   no longer on land,

      but in the air.

Author's Note

I always review what I read and would appreciate it if when you read this you would be kind enough to do the same.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I was drawn to read this because it predates all this...the internet, etc. You have been incredibly loyal to your poetic calling. Re-reading these words must evoke how you were all those years ago, a priceless thing. Most of us are just left with fading or unreliable memories at best, or maybe a few tickets or programmes from this or that. You have your creative life to hand.

[Lisasview]

Dear R.J.
I am spending most of today going over my poems and my reviews... I just want to make sure that I have thanked everyone that took the time to read and review.
Anyway,
I just came across the wonderful review you left for me 3 months ago!! I can not believe I missed this!
Thank you!!
Yes, as you say I am able to evoke so many memories of how I really felt.

Lisa

[Lisasview]

Hello again,
I am again back to revisiting my poems and reviews. This one from you is 8 months ago.... basically when i first started posting my work for the first time anywhere. Yes, I do feel fortunate that I wrote down many of my feeling when I was young. I still have my very first diary when I was 10 years old. I am going through my other diary and throwing them out ...but not the first one. I have always been into how memories affect us. I wrote a poem called Guardian of our Memories... Not sure if you have read it or not. Anyway, rereading your review inspires me to write more..
So, I thank you so much for that!!
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Seeing someone leave whom you hold dear, knowing you have lost them for good is devastating. You convey that emotion well here in this offering. I note you penned this when you were 20. No doubt you have over the years edited your lines to achieve this standard. Great work Lisa.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris,
Thank you for your review..So kind of you to say I have "achieved a standard." I wrote this when I was going through a divorce...The interesting thing about this poem is that I found it in a box of poems I wrote way back when.
I submitted it today without changing any of the words... I did add the punctuation.. and, moved the lines I wrote into verses.
I really appreciate your review,
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

This work is of a high standard LISA in my humble opinion. If you penned these lines at 20 and have not edited them since, then that is quite something. Well done you. Hope you are having a great weekend.

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris,
I appreciate your humble opinion...it means a lot to me..
Thank you,
Lisa

[Gee]

Reads a bit like the "other" woman finding out that is all she will ever be. As I have said in a previous comment I much prefer reading you without the help of others :)
Hi Lisa, Hope you are well in sunny Spain

[Lisasview]

Hi Gordon,
Thank you for reading my poem and your review.
Actually, I had no help with writing this poem at all.
The fact that you think that means I probably wrote a decent poem even though I was quite young..
I copied it just as it is from the paper I
kept all these years.
I was going through a divorce and wrote quite a few poems at that time.
I did have help with the punctuation and the verses.

[Crowley]

That ending is as good as it gets. It promotes a feeling that nothing else could create besides unexpected loss. This is pretty powerful stuff and the shortness of the piece lends to the punch. Great work!

[Lisasview]

Wow...where did you come from????
Very very nice review..
Did you realise I wrote this when i was 22 years old..1970..
Decided to submit it exactly as I wrote it...I have three more I plan to submit tomorrow..
Plus, of course all the others..that I have been submitting for the past couple of months..
How did you find me?
Lisa, now in cold rainy Spain

[Crowley]

Ive been on this site off and on for around 10 or so years...lol. I have been on again the last little while and your wonderful writing came up on my feed. The one thing about this site is that the algorithm usually prohibits many people from popping up on your feed so sometimes you have to go searching and you never know wha you will find. I am glad I found yours.

[Lisasview]

How very delightful and what a lovely thing to say..
Hope to see more of you..
Lisa