Doorways

I wrote this when I was just about 20 years old. Many ~ many years ago..1968 -70 Free Verse poetry Photo - DreamTime

  Doorways....

Did you see me

   standing naked 

      by the door …

tears in my eyes,

   ready to pour?

A friend did …

   said I looked dead;

      as though, I lost my

         dearest love?

Seeing you leave

   felt like

      taking ten steps, 

finding I was

   no longer on land,

      but in the air.

Author's Note

I always review what I read and would appreciate it if when you read this you would be kind enough to do the same.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I was drawn to read this because it predates all this...the internet, etc. You have been incredibly loyal to your poetic calling. Re-reading these words must evoke how you were all those years ago, a priceless thing. Most of us are just left with fading or unreliable memories at best, or maybe a few tickets or programmes from this or that. You have your creative life to hand.

[Lisasview]

Dear R.J.
I am spending most of today going over my poems and my reviews... I just want to make sure that I have thanked everyone that took the time to read and review.
Anyway,
I just came across the wonderful review you left for me 3 months ago!! I can not believe I missed this!
Thank you!!
Yes, as you say I am able to evoke so many memories of how I really felt.

Lisa

[Lisasview]

Hello again,
I am again back to revisiting my poems and reviews. This one from you is 8 months ago.... basically when i first started posting my work for the first time anywhere. Yes, I do feel fortunate that I wrote down many of my feeling when I was young. I still have my very first diary when I was 10 years old. I am going through my other diary and throwing them out ...but not the first one. I have always been into how memories affect us. I wrote a poem called Guardian of our Memories... Not sure if you have read it or not. Anyway, rereading your review inspires me to write more..
So, I thank you so much for that!!
Lisa

[Red Brick Keshner]

Oh, that must have been harrowing to a young lass, or to anyone at any age that is inclined to intimate relationship. It is hard not to feel this poem. The doorways bit, stood out to me like a sentinel and a portal through which we are ushered at certain moments in our life's journey. The easiest and quickest question is 'why?' and the floating, allows for other thoughts and feelings to filter through (at least for me). Thanks for sharing. /Frederick.

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your wonderful review..
Yes, I was quite young when I felt this and wrote about it....so happy you understood my poem..
Lisa, getting late in Spain..off to listen to music..

[Neville]

this is such a very sad and touching poem, but almost, by way of a contradiction, quite beautiful. Neville :)

[Lisasview]

Yes, quite sad.. I was so young..around 20 years old..
1970...
Thank you for reading and reviewing..Always appreciated..
Lisa, home..cold rainy weather..

[lightsong]

"felt like
taking ten steps,
finding I was
no longer on land,
but in the air."

Those lines hit dear Lisa, they express all the harsh situation of lost, confusion, hurt and pain in a strong way. your title and being naked also are chosen carefully. You are saying, "I gave it all, but did You?!" read this before but I just had the time to leave my review here.

[Lisasview]

Just found another review of yours!!!
Thank you for reading and understanding my poem.
I appreciate our connection,
Lisa

[M. J. Smith]

Know this feeling too well. Pretty much what created The Drifter. A search for meaning after just such an ending. Well done.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
i am going back over all my reviews to make sure I did not miss saying thank you..
And, I just now found your kind and insightful review.
Sorry to be so tardy in responding. Gosh 5 months ago!!
Lisa, now in Spain

[jacob erin-cilberto]

as in "Ars Poetica"
"the grief, an empty doorway..."
the pic with the poem enhances that idea...once someone was there and now the person is not...
Some just take advantage of another and then disappear, leaving us standing naked and alone with our feelings.
This is really powerful, Lisa....
this deserves more than just a read....comments help a poet understand his or her own work, and its worth.
j.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much... As a watercolour artist I am a bit over the top when it comes to picking just the right art work to show... I need it to represent my poem..So, your great observation is really appreciated. As you probably already know I wrote this quite a long time ago..
I agree, comments like yours help me so much.. I was quite nervous about submitting this and my other three...Not sure why.. perhaps, because I thought they might be to immature as I was only around 20 when I wrote them..
By the way I just noticed that my picture has disappeared from my last 10 poems..I see yours but mine is just the lightning bolt..I can not remember how I first put it on..Can you help me with this Jacob?

[jacob erin-cilberto]

I am thumbs with technology...but I think you go to your profile, change photo or avatar.
and I hear you ....I was 20 when I started writing poetry....
but compared to yours at 20...mine was Looney Tunes...

[Lisasview]

You make me laugh... Well, avatar will not allow me to do it... Crazy because it worked for the first ones I put on..Anyway, I will keep trying.. Thank you

[Relic]

I see the theme of your poems from that time. Young, blooming, and sensitive; wanting love but seeing it glide away. From the poems I've read over the years from young women, I've seen the same theme. Sadness and broken hearts. Such is life for a young woman. :)

[Lisasview]

Yes, and thank goodness that is all behind me and has been behind me for a very long time.. You totally understood my poem Tim.. and that is fantastic..I also and writing new poetry ..like Fields that are quite different..
Thank you so much for your review.. I do appreciate it.
Lisa

[andrew mitchell]

Nice work Lisa. The imagery is spot on with the loss of a loved one almost had a ghostly ending I suppose all breakups become ghost memories.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Andrew. yes, ghost memories..only to be stirred up every so often..
Thank you,
Lisa

[William Michael Reeves]

I really like it when a poet is brave enough to post early, maybe less mature poetry they've written. And happy you mentioned it too. You stepped off the cliff, in your poem and in your post. I like it. But you can bet about a hundred people will read it but not review it. I always wonder who they are. Guests? There can't possibly be poets who have nothing to say. Or can there?

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
My feelings exactly... So far I have 63 views and 6 reviewers... Strange that poets do not take the time to leave reviews..I too wonder who they are? Guests?
Actually, I was a bit nervous about posting my earlier poetry but because of the response I will be submitting three more today..
Thank you for your kind review,
Lisa

[William Michael Reeves]

Nice. I'll look for them. I get the feeling some don't review because they are afraid of embarrassment. And I'm sure some just have empty minds looking for empty poems they do understand so they can feel like they are into poetry. Maybe some of those poets I see that have a profile but nothing to read. ????

[Cherrie Palmer]

The poem written for the one that got away. Only to be read by the observer. As the memory-maker is still walking.
Excellent bold and powerful

[Lisasview]

Interesting take on my poem Cherrie...
I was going through a painful divorce in my early 20's.
I wrote several poems during that time and plan to post more soon.. I think writing out my feelings at that time helped me deal..
I always appreciate your reviews..thank you, Lisa

[Cherrie Palmer]

Yes writing is a great therapy.