Innocence

Very different from anything I have ever written Free Verse

    Innocence....

     Innocence flew by,

     like an old crow

     looking for a place to die,

     with a world to discover ...

     few moments to listen.

     She sought what she felt;

     yet, never found it;

     time rose up 

     like an angry whale ...

     her heart tore.

     In spite, she waited

     for a moment of reprieve,

     tossing her wishes away,

     as the whale

     swallowed each.

     Wanting more of her innocence, 

     the whale waited.

     Waters opened 'n flowed;

     still, the whale waited ...

     Time disappeared; 

     as did she ...

     with her innocence.

              ~~~

Author's Note

If you happen to pass by and read my poem I would appreciate a review. I always review whatever I read.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Vol]

Lisa,
I've long wondered what the loss of innocence actually means. I remember back in 1967, 8, and 9, I lived in Pensacola, Florida with a coterie of brilliant, beautiful friends discovering weed, and acid, and reveling in this new paradigm of sex, drugs, and Rock-n-Roll. Claudia introduced two new innocents into our tight group, and they were gorgeous, laughed easily, and danced like crazy! They were both engaged, but never brought their guys around. Both got married in the same church at the same time, and disappeared. A year later, I had moved to Wisconsin and did the same.
When I returned to Pensacola, I wanted to show off my new friends to my former classmates and went to find Claudia. Her mom gave me her new address, an old Painted Lady divided into apartments where she shared rooms with those two girls. They were divorced, and broken" their faces were hard, and their eyes flat. Innocence lost. I wrote about it:

IN THE GARDEN

In the garden of rock and roll girls
I knew back then were the eyes of
innocent laughter ripe for the gathering.

The taste of living was honey
on their lips and thighs
when they smiled at us
to the sound of guitar
poetry painting fantasies in
the blue nights and yellow days
spent guileless in the garden of
rock and roll girls I knew back then.

They danced with us in the
smoke of our wildest dreams
breathless, bouncing hair
and the drum of burning blood,
a fire in the garden until midnight
when the harvester comes wearing
a jeweled grin to share with them.

He lives today around their
white necks and naked wrists
slit by the fangs of innocence.

As you can see, I have long been troubled by this "rite of passage." And a few minutes ago, I clicked on your picture again, but it wasn't the same one as accompanies this poem. In that one you are giving a great guffaw, and full of joy. The one here speaks better to the theme.
Hmmm. I wonder if commenting like this is what we are supposed to do, rather than an analysis or critique, "Why did you use that word? or What did you mean by that image?". But somehow It is a little richer, I think, to speak directly to the poet and the poet's thoughts and feelings, Something I can't do with D. H. Lawrence, or Charles Bukowski or any of those other dead ones. So, unless you tell me otherwise, I'll carry on. But with messages rather than here, because I'd love to delve into some of the images and thoughts in this poem.
I hope your shoulder is healing, and i understand the pain, and the limitations it puts on how much you can write,

[Lisasview]

getting late here now so I will respond tomorrow..just want you to know that I got your review..the time difference is a drag.
Lisa, still in stupid pain..no drugs now just red wine

[Vol]

OW! Lisa!
I can relate... It is awful, and even the deep knowledge that this will pass does nothing to help, even climbing into a warm comfortable bed hurts! Been there, done that!
Vol

[V.R.S.C.]

Both a powerful poem and top review. I have nothing to add. Thank you both Lisa and Vol for sharing!

[Lisasview]

Thank you so so much!
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

dramatic tension builds with the whale just waiting .. horrible the loss and/or destruction of innocence .. reminds me of the words of Jesus Christ when he said "“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Matthew 18:6 .. speaking of the children surrounding him ... pic is striking says i! too many hungry children in the world aren't there?! :(
E.

[Lisasview]

Glad you felt the tension.. These words just came out of me.. I never changed anything... except original the entire poem was him...not her.. but I fell in love with the artwork.. Plus, I needed to put in punctuation and line separation...This was accomplished with Richards help. I have no idea where this strange poem came from... so very different from anything I have ever written before...
Glad it reminded you of Matthew 18:6... glad you connected with my poem Einstein.
Lisa, now sunny in Spain

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm for the preservation of innocence as much and as long as it can be sustained. This was quite unusual in its structure. (Time as a whale that swallows crows, as it were.) But it was an interesting effect. It reminded me of some of the fables I've read in African and aboriginal folklore. I enjoyed the read.

[Lisasview]

Love that you understood my poem..
There is so much to "get" from my words.. I wrote this without thought... it just flowed out of me.. Now that I have read it over and over...especially after getting reviews I am finding so many hidden meanings.. Time probably is the whale and the crow is her wish and her wishes are her innocence..
But of course my poem is up for interpretation...
Fables you have read in African and Aboriginal folklore..Really fascinating..Just wondering why?
Lisa, now in sunny Spain
Thank you again