Miles Apart

I wrote this poem when I was in my early 20's...In the 70's... Just a few things were changed, with the help of Richard. Rhyming Quatrains and Couplet

                

          Miles Apart....         

              Separated by miles 

              that keep us apart,

              my heart's

              still holding yours.

              Our love

              lingers-on,

              like the delicate web

              of an evil spider;

              the spider, but a toy 

              between us.

              Air hangs heavy

              between our hearts;

              still, longing for

              more time together.

              

              Yet,

              when I sit alone 

              thinking of you,

              your tenderness

              surrounds me 

                ... even now.

                    

                 ~~~

Reviews

[.]

The warmth and spirit of a loved one remains with us even after they are long departed. We may not feel their touch any longer but as long as they remain alive in our memory the miles seem just that bit closer. It's a sad piece with your loss, love and acceptance of it here for all to read. Touching poem, Lisa. ⚘

[Lisasview]

Good morning Jamila,
I wrote this about 30 years ago.. Interesting to read the reviews and what was thought about my poem.. Thank you so much for your insightful review.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

So weird because when I look at it on manage there are just two..
I will look again... Thank you so much.. Really appreciate it.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

Sorry I was responding to someone else about the spaces between the artwork and the Title and accidentally sent my messages to you!
Lisa

[Relic]

I understand that indelible mark others can leave on us. That special someone is hard to forget and the memory of them becomes a regular part of the day.

The emptiness leaves room for obsession if we're not careful. Those thoughts - I wonder what they're doing now - I wonder if they're thinking of me as much as I'm thinking of them? I think these are natural thoughts. I felt that in this poem.

There's a lot of love and admiration is these lines, Lisa.

[Lisasview]

I always love and appreciate your insightful reviews... They mean a lot to me..
Thank you so much,
Lisa

[Relic]

My pleasure, Lisa. :)

[JE Falcon]

"Our love
lingers-on,
like the delicate web
of an evil spider;
the spider, but a toy
between us."
At first I didn't care for this vision, but on the second read, I focused more on the web. NICE

[Lisasview]

Glad you ended up liking my poem... The evil spider is a metaphor for the distance... When I wrote this 30 odd years ago I did not know about metaphors...The words just poured out of me.. When I discovered my poem along with my others tucked away in a folder and read them I realised that I used quite a few metaphors..
Lisa

[JE Falcon]

Yes, on the second read I felt that way. --- Isn't it strange, in a good way, that metaphors happen as they do?

[Lisasview]

Yes, I think it is amazing when they just happen... I do know that many poets struggle trying to find just the right metaphor..hoping that the words they found work..

[Sami Khalil]

I love it. I can't believe you wrote this long time ago and it is still timeless. Fitting imagery and emotions. As the saying goes: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Excellent Lisa from Spain.

[Lisasview]

I am so happy to hear you love this older poem of mine.. and, so glad I kept it.. Interesting to read the comments about it.. Did you read the poem I wrote in 1970... SCREAMS... really a different feeling in that poem..
All my best to you,
Lisa, early morning in Spain

[Sami Khalil]

Will do soon. Enjoy the beautiful country. I heard you all lived in TX. I lived in Houston for 9 years and have been all over. Take care. Be safe. You are welcome.

[Lisasview]

Actually we lived most of our lives in Southern California...moved to Austin, Texas for about 10 years ...and now here..

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! You all have good taste in places and people. Maybe the artist in you comes out.

[Lisasview]

Very nice thing to say dear Sami.. I enjoy the feeling of being creative and living a creative life..

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! Nothing wrong with that. Enjoy while you can.

[Kelly Scheppers]

Lost loves and unrequited love make for the best food for thought, at least they have been for me. I lost someone three years ago this May, and his loss is ever present to me. Not everyone in our life is meant to be a part of our journey, and that is our infinite struggle.

[Lisasview]

I just love what people read into my poem.. This is what writing is all about..
So sorry for your loss.. As we get older (I am now 74) we lose so many around us.. and that is difficult..
Being able to write about this is such an amazing outlet... Lucky us!!
Lisa

[Kelly Scheppers]

I wholeheartedly agree, Lisa. I would be lost without this place and the poets here! It truly does afford us the outlet we seek!

[Lisasview]

I am in awe of all this as I am new to submitting anywhere...this is truly an outlet..
Lisa

[Cherrie Palmer]

The thing stronger than time and distance is love ❤️

[Lisasview]

You are so very correct.. True love is always there.. ever so strong.. So happy you understood the essence of my poem..
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the contrast between the evil spider and the tenderness of heart in the closing .. while reading i kept wondering if this was a one sided or unbalanced love ... two hearts separated by distance but the love enduring still ... its a sad sweet malady we suffer eh!? nice mating of picture and poem as well says i! ;)
E.

[Lisasview]

Hi Einstein,
Delighted to see your review to my poem..
It is good (I feel) that my poem made you think..my feeling was that she was thinking of their mutual love ... The evil spider is a metaphor for the distance between them.. I wrote this many years ago...and of course can not remember what was going on in my mind... yes, two hearts separated...
Thank you,
Lisa, in Spain

[Einstein Noodle]

yep ... the metaphor is clear and creative ... 20 yrs. is a long time ago ;) love and the search for it keep it relevant

[Lisasview]

I knew nothing of metaphors way back when
But now realize that actually used them.

[Einstein Noodle]

natural born to it eh!? ;)

[Lisasview]

So strange because when I write the words pour out if me.. doesn’t feel like I am thinking at all...feels like someone else is writing..

[Einstein Noodle]

i guess that's what is called struck by the Muse eh!? ;)

[Lisasview]

Well, until I decided to submit my poetry for the firsts time anywhere
I actually never heard that a muse can influence ones writing
This is such a great learning experience for me

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .....................

[Lisasview]

Not sure what that means?😍

[Einstein Noodle]

i am saying ... good on you ... i understand .. we are compadres in learning ... right here at the Cafe' .. but i am also lazy at a point .. i am finished talking .... and so just send you a smiley with dots so that it will have enough "characters' to post . ;) ............................... when it comes to me .. please don't read much into such things ... :))))))))))))))))) love and grace my friend!

[Lisasview]

Ha ha.. just was wondering but if I see it again..I will understand.
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

:) .................... and

[Lisasview]

OK.................

[Einstein Noodle]

there was a little heart thingy after the "and" .. it looks like the Cafe' gremlin must have taken it away .. so i will just say .. love and peace dear friend .. so glad you are enjoying the Cafe' experience and sharing your work with all ..

[Lisasview]

I am enjoying it.. So many poets... so many nice people.. Too bad your little heart disappeared...very sweet of you... Can't remember..but did you read my newest submittal Innocence? Very very different from anything I have ever written..Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

good morning Lisasview! here we are again .. at the Cafe' at the same time ... I will check out your poem right now ..

[lightsong]

After reading until now some of poetry... I got it. your poems are like soft memories, sweet pages of a diary. that is why all the readers will feel close to it even if they didn't experience the same experience You are writing about. this is but another sweet page, another memory swifting through our hearts. only the second verse maybe needs something?

[Lisasview]

Thank you for reading quite a few of my poems this morning. I will definetly look at verse two..
read moreThank you for reading quite a few of my poems this morning. I will definetly look at verse two..
Funny you should say that about my poetry as I wrote a very different one yesterday which I will publish soon..Also, I have a poem Scream I rote in 1970 that i quite different..

[Patricia Wedel]

There is always a Magnetism between Lovers… that the passing of time cannot touch… like Sand through an hour glass .. it is always flowing…
tenderly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Your lovely words sound like a poem to me.
You understood my poem..
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

Like Sands on the Beach… we listen to the Opera of the Ocean. tenderly, Pat

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This is wonderfully romantic in the artistic sense of the word. It has an atmosphere both dark and warm, like slipping into a moonlit summer pond for a midnight swim. I enjoyed every word. F.

[Lisasview]

Now aren't you a doll..saying you enjoyed every word.
To imagine that I wrote this in my very early 20's (early 70's!!) and added only the last two lines last week.. and never changed one word.. so thank you so very much.. I really appreciate your review.. Lisa

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Many of the greatest romantic poets died young including Lord Byron and Percy Shelley. Byron died at 35 or 36 and Shelley died at 30. Maybe it takes a younger mind to be a romantic. (smile)

[Lisasview]

Well, I would not say the..because at the age of 74 this Sunday I am still quite romantic..If they had lived longer then I am quite sure their lovely romantic poetry would have followed them to their deaths..

[Richard🖌]

First-off, Lisa 🌾

I love the artwork choice, so personably endearing and beautifully rendered … who's the artist? And, the soft moss green, italic serif font lends a gentleness that sweeps through tender senses like a lover's luring breath … combined with the emotive grip and imagery of your creative poignancy of metaphor: delicate web, evil spider but a toy between us, air between our hearts, your warmth surrounds me, and what a heart-fetching tale of love and yearning.
With but a smidgen of attention, this Free Verse could be made to whisper to our relating souls.

Such enthralling promise … sighhh! ⁓ Richard🖌️

[Lisasview]

Wow, coming from you dearest Richard your amazing review really means a lot to me.
Thank you so so much,
Lisa

[Richard🖌]

Lotta spaces between painting and title. : )

[Lisasview]

So very strange because when i look at Manage there are only two spaces ..Thankyou for seeing that.. I will look at it again.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

Hi Richard, Please check again... I believe the extra spaces are gone...

[Richard🖌]

Perfecto, Lisa! : )