Mothers Letter

When I saw this painting I was moved to write a poem about it. This is my revised version. Free Verse poetry.

 

 Mother's Letter

     Eyes are dry, now …

     where soft teardrops fell,

     lie faded pools of smeared purple ink.

     Reading her letter again,

     I held the coarse paper tightly 

     between delicate hands.

     The baby kicks, as if it knows,

     and I read on....

     Birth of your first born …

     so close to my heart,

     brings memories of you, my child,

     running wildly through fields of

     poppies and dandelions.

     Your hair, the colored hues

     in sun’s end of day.

     Alone, I lie here remembering …

     watching birds by the window.

     They beckoned me follow;

   “I am not ready to leave,”

     sighing in a whisper.

   “Bring me apples to peel;

     for, my hands are idle.”

     There is no one to hear,

     my mind wanders to you --

     the distance is great.

     As time disappears …

     your child grows,

     and as you watch the fields

     change from yellow to gold,

   "Think of me and remember,

     I have you in my heart … always.”

                            ~~~

    

                 

Author's Note

Any comments are appreciated.
Thank you for dropping by.
Lisa

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness ... this brings tears to my heart .. it is so sweetly sad .. wonderful tribute to not just your Ma but to all those who love with a very Divine gift of a Mother's love .. those who received and do receive it are blessed .. your poem inspires gratitude in me for my Ma ... thank you for sharing! really enjoy the imaging and it is super emotive ...
E.

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
I see you are the featured review, although you are the last to read my poem...so far..Must mean that the site likes your review..and so do I...
I loved your wonderful review..and I am so glad it inspired gratitude.. I am amazed that my poem had such an impact... and I am honoured..
Thank you for reading and reviewing my work'I appreciate it,
Lisa, getting last here in Spain

[W. Barrett Munn]

Lisa, I can tell by your writing you love poetry. I see a lot of myself - my struggles - mirrored in your poem. My tendency is to describe, which is the job of prose. Poetry should be about showing comparisons that others either do not see or have never see in that light. Poetry lives in that shadowed area between wakefulness and sleep, half-dream and half-imagination. We want to create sensations - my personal goal with each (serious attempt) I make is to be able to look back at my work 6 months later and be able to say, I'm glad I read that.

Another bit of advice, somewhat mysterious so don't take it like Amelia Bedelia who always took things said as literal. So here goes: try to end your poems about 2 lines before they're finished.

Leave something for reader to dwell on and think about and feel. If you write to the point you're reached, The End, you've gone too far. That's for prose.

PS. We thought about expatriating to Italy but my wife is on the Cherokee register so she gets free healthcare here that cannot be duplicated there.
Best,

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your comments.. I will ponder your review..to see if your suggestions work for me. Have you read my Sonnet?
LIsa

[Kim S.]

wow this is just so beautiful as well as touching

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your lovely review..

[alanwgraham]

This is a beautiful poem Lisa. What a great idea to use the painting as a subject. Your poem is full of deep love and feelings flowing between the generations. In those days they didn't have all the instant communications that we rely on today.
Very well done!
Regards,
Alan

[Lisasview]

Hi Alan, I just responded back to you about the review I left for you. I asked if you had read my poems.. And, I see you read one.. Thank you so much..I do love this poem and I am so glad you liked it too.. Yes, using a painting worked for me.. I saw this painting and wrote the poem.. I never changed what I initially wrote..and, I made no corrections.. I only started submitting my poems even though I have been writing for years.. Love this new adventure!!

[KWP]

A lovely read, mom to daughter. It is this kind of passage, moment, reality I only ever wish to pass on to my boys. They have turned out pretty damn good. ;)

The softness tugs lightly in your words here
the details bring the piece to life
the inner knowing makes it real
the completeness exudes our humanness.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much for your lovely review.
You really picked up on the softness and more..
read moreThank you so much for your lovely review.
You really picked up on the softness and more..
I find ir so interesting to read what reviewers feel from my poems. Beings as this is the very first time I have ever submitted anything in my life...this new adventure is wonderful.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Beautiful heart rendering
Love it

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh Julie, Going back over my poems I see you left a review and I never thanked you for it... I am so sorry,
Lisa, now in Spain

[Chris]

Blessed are the 'forever' mom's - they aren't as rare as many believe - it's just that children believe they finally escaped all the years of their telling moms how silly, stupid and uncaring they were and perhaps now are so caught up in the same cycle with their own. Life gets soooo busy when you HAVE to deal day-by-day ...there's just no time for what and who WAS 'til they're gone for real.

[Lisasview]

Yes, blessed are the "former"mom's
I just now saw that you reviewed my poem and I am so sorry to be late in saying thank you,
Lisa, now in Spain

[Patricia Wedel]

It is never too late… in my Book.. Love ❤️ to you in Spain… 🌈

[Lisasview]

Never too late for sure!
Lisa

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was poignant and sweetly beautiful. I remember telling my oldest daughter she'd never know how much I loved her until she held her own firstborn. When she delivered her first child, (after congratulations and weight and measurements and all the information over the phone) I asked her if she finally understood what I meant. And I asked if it was anything like what she imagined. She cried and said, you were right dad, I never knew! This was a wonderful write. Highest marks.

[Lisasview]

Hi Fabian,
This is so so weird but I have now come across another one of your wonderful reviews that I seeI never responded to ... This one is from 5 months ago!! That was when I first started posting... so perhaps I did not know how to Post the comments I made... I just reread your review and it gave me chills.. Love is such a powerful thing..Plus, the amazing connection you have with your eldest daughter.. Loved it..
Thank you again,
Lisa, in Spain

[Samuel Dickens]

So touching, it reminds me of letters and thoughts that I have had. I'm not sure why, but the part about apples to peel seems so significant and real.

[Lisasview]

Thank you for seeing the image I was hopefully trying to show.
Appreciate your review Samuel,
Lisa

[Chris Shaw]

Really touching write.. Beautifully conveyed lines. Mother/daughter love. The loss of a mother can be devastating. If there are letters left, that can be a huge comfort. First of yours I have read. Pleased to have stopped by.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Thank you Chris.
The three I have submitted are the very first poems I have ever submitted and the feedback has been so helpful.
I find it so interesting to read what reviewers feel from my poems and so glad to know that they felt something...
I have never had any education in writing so all that I ave written just comes out of me.
Thank you so much for your review.
Lisa in beautiful Spain

[Chris Shaw]

Lucky you being in beautiful Spain. I haven't had an education in. poetry either. Everything I have learned is by reading the work of other poets. The more you read, the better. Looking forward to more posts from you Lisa.

[Lisasview]

I completely agree Chris..Thank you

[M. J. Smith]

When we face Parenthood ourselves is when we most need our mothers. And when they can't be there it breaks the heart. Much emotion here. Well written.

[Lisasview]

How wonderful that you understood what I was trying to convey!
Thank you so much for your review.
Lisa

[M. J. Smith]

You are most welcome, Lisa. Fathers are not immune to the need of a mother's wisdom, particularly when raising daughters. I love my girl. But how can I teach her to be what I was never born to be? A girl must have female relatives for those lessons. Again, well written, I say. And well expressed.