Hand-In-Hand

My very first Sonnet ever. This Sonnet is about the forever remembered love for a mother or grandmother. remembered.

Hand-In-Hand....

Her tired eyes saw more than I'll ever know;

long silv'ry hair piled high upon her head,

the clean fresh scent of times so long ago ...

warm stinging tears are those I often shed.

Remembering her laughter through our years,

when we walked hand in hand along the shore.

As lovely sounds of church bells filled my ears,

my love still held by ocean's distant roar.

Now, fresh white, fragrant lilies near her lie,

a few soft petals fallen from the rain ...

their faces wet, turned up toward the sky;

along with them she takes rest from her pain. 

Sweet memories we shared now mean so much,

each day, I long for her caressing touch.

                                   ~~~

                                     

Author's Note

A very special thank you to Richard!! Who saw this as a Sonnet (I had no idea what a Sonnet even was!!) and, helped me complete it. He opened up a whole new world to me.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

This was particularly touching to me. I was the primary caregiver for my mother the last five years of her life. It was the hardest and most challenging task I have ever undertaken. Given the chance, I'd gladly do it all again. By her grave, I was almost too exhausted to cry. But I found great comfort in knowing her worldly suffering had come an end even though I know I will miss her until we meet again. Thank you for this, I enjoyed. F.

[Lisasview]

Thank you Fabian,
I am glad you liked it.
My plan is to rework my Sonnet so please look for it again.
I too took care of my mother for several years.
And, of my father in law and also my step mother.
Loads of work but I would never trade it. For the precious time I spent with them will be in my memory forever.

[Lisasview]

Hi Fabian, Just submitted my newest version of this poem and I also submitted one that I am working on.
Hoping you have time to look at them.
Lisa

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was so beautifully written!

[Lisasview]

How nice of you to review my first Sonnet ever...
I have a second Sonnet called Pearls..
read moreHow nice of you to review my first Sonnet ever...
I have a second Sonnet called Pearls..
This is my first adventure submitting any of my poetry ever.. so getting a review like yours is so wonderful..
Lisa

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

You are welcome!

[KAREN]

You're most welcome. I really enjoyed it!

[KAREN]

This was a touching poem and sad, but it was so beautiful!

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much for reviewing my first Sonnet..
I am glad you feel my Sonnet is beautiful..

[KAREN]

I really enjoyed it, and you are welcome!

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much

[KAREN]

You are very welcome!

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Lisa… I also want to write a Sonnet… and you have tucked a Beauty in your Bonnet. Richard is a true Romantic of scents and flowers… always makes you feel like a String of Pearls that evolved from much affection. gently, Pat

[Lisasview]

Funny you should say a Sting of Pearls because my second Sonnet is called Pearls..
Writing my first Sonnet was quite something..As it turned out my first 8 or so lines were (of what I thought was poem) actually a Sonnet..Little did I know...Just needed to work on the rest of it..
Thank you Pat for reading..

[Patricia Wedel]

Love ❤️ your words… I suppose Shakespeare was a Master of Sonnets. We have a very light Snow here. I put a lot of Seed on our Deck Railing outside the Kitchen Window… I just saw a bright Red Cardinal so happy with the Black Oiled Sunflower Seeds… such a thrill to see them up close and personal. Looking forward to reading your Pearl Sonnet. You have Inspired me. tenderly, Pat

[SleeplessVolcano]

Lovely write! My mom is getting along in years now, so I've started thinking about writing poems about her while I am still able to share it with her. Maybe I should start today!

[Lisasview]

Wonderful idea.. Sharing the poems you write about her with her willed up being such wonderful memories.
Thank you for you kind review..
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

Richard is the man to go to for sonnets and most classic forms ... yours is just lovely to read and experience ... it doesn't really take a very long life to suffer loss of some kind .. reading "Hand in Hand" refreshes my own memories of Ma ... i am fortunate she was a wonderful Mother to me and my Sis ... the fondness i feel flows to the surface just as your words flow ... well done ... sonnets are not easy and take many re-writes if you are anything like me self ... ugh! but well worth the effort .. well done!
E.

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much!
I wrote this not knowing it was a Sonnet in the making.
It was my very first submission.
I had never done any edits.
Richard contacted me and said that the first 8 lines were in perfect Iambic form (at that point I had no idea what iambic even was)
He asked if I would like to “fix” the rest.
That was about a month ago.
He had been such a lovely teacher.
I submitted my second Sonnet yesterday....Pearl...
Hope you will find the time to read it.
And, I am almost ready to submit Time..
A quatrin... another firm that I never knew anything about.
Thank you again for reviewing my work
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

this is a great place to learn and improve .. right here at the Cafe' ... i will be stopping back to read Pearl ... thanks for the invite

[Lisasview]

You are so so kind.. I would love you to review.. Mothers Letter.
and, if you find the time... to read TIME when I submit it tomorrow.
Thank you again,
Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you, dear Lisa, for sharing this wonderful and meaningful poem.
"Remembering her laughter through our years,
when we walked hand in hand along the shore.
As lovely sounds of church bells filled my ears,
my love still held by ocean's distant roar."
The above lines, we must hold on to. The simple days, the beach days, the days of laughter and the kindest voices. We need to remember. The poem is amazing.
Coyote

[Lisasview]

Yes, memories are so important to hold onto.. This was my very first Sonnet..So difficult to achieve..but somehow I did it. So glad you liked my poem.. Did you happen to read my poem The letter? Lisa

[Coyote Poetry]

I will read the letter now. You did well Lisa. A beautiful sonnet.

[Sammi]

Hi Lisa I am Sammi, I saw your name in a review on Richard's poem Ultimate Poetess and liked what you said so I came to see your poems and picked this sonnet to read and comment on, and it is sure a great effort with beautiful picture and totally correct grammar punctuation and iambic pentameter [Richard taught me that as my only teacher], what a coincidence he helped you with your sonnet too, mine is called Colorado Dreams if you would like to read it [hint lol].
I love every part and how you made it come to life like a story all of us who lost our mother or grandmother can identify with so deeply emotionally -- your work and picture selection is wonderful with perfectly written flow and rhymes, I'm envious -- thank you! :)

HUGGS!
Sammi

[Lisasview]

Good morning,
Wonderful to read your review this cold and early morning here in Spain. Isn't life wonderful..for you to have read my comment of Richards piece and for you then to seek me out and then....to see that Richard helped me as he did you!!! The chain of events is great. Glad you like my Sonnet.. I had never had any help in my poems..just like you..As a matter of fact I never submitted anything in my life until now..So this is quite an adventure. Glad you requested to be friends.. Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

Thought I’d pass along some random knowledge- poems work because of the relationships among line, stanza, diction, and syntax, meaning a word, line, stanza, or shape of a line must work with what surrounds.

I say this because I know you revise, and I’ve found on occasion my favorite word, line, or entire stanza must be discarded for the betterment of the whole.

You are wonderfully talented. Be ruthless with yourself so that light is not dimmed by satisfaction.

[Lisasview]

Well, first many thanks for saying that I am wonderfully talented..When I write it really just flows out of me..And, I am not afraid to let go of an entire line. If I really feel the line is good I write it down and save it..for a rainy day.I also write short stories and with those I make a zillion revisions.. But my life is not just writing ..I am a professional watercolorist and decided to start teaching a few years ago. Because of COVID I now teach on Zoom Skype or FaceTime. I also took up piano when I turned 50..a life long dream mine. I take weekly lessons from an amazing teacher on Skype once a week (10pm for him and 8am for me!! I practice for an hour each day..and only play classical. And, since we only recently moved to Spain my life is extremely busy. I decided about a month ago to find a site to submit my work..(for the very first time) It has beed quite an adventure so far.. Fun to put some really old poems on and see how they relate today..Again I love that you give suggestions..I believe that most reviewers are afraid to help..So Thank you agin,
Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

My wife and both paint and in 2020 we took online lessons for a year with Jerry Fresia, a well-known impressionist painter who lives on Lake Cuomo.

[Lisasview]

Fantastic..What is your medium..

[W. Barrett Munn]

All, but Jerry taught oils and I learned to love them but they are messy. Watercolor is a second favorite follows by chalk pastels

[Lisasview]

Well, Acrylics work as well as oils. So because oils are messy people often move to acrylics..And, pastels can be quite messy.. We have a wonderful outdoor area, called a NAYA so once the renovations are complete I plan to try my hand at pastels..I brought 300 hundred boxes of art supplies to spain in out two huge containers..

[W. Barrett Munn]

I done a lot of acrylics but I don't care for them too much. Oil is the king, watercolor the queen in our castle.

[W. Barrett Munn]

Extremely well done! Sonnet form is really difficult. My only suggestion instead of lovely sounds I would say distant (you’re on the beach) and the the roar of the ocean I think rhythmic is better for the alliteration but also if you are close to the beach the sound would not be “distant”.

A really nice effort.

[Lisasview]

Oh gosh did I forget to thank you for your Review.. so sorry..
I was busy revising my Sonnet, so I did not see your comments until now..
I resubmitted my finished Sonnet..and if you have the time I would love you to read it...Of course all of this needed to be in perfect iambic form.. not an easy task..as this was my first try.. This past week I put on another Sonnet.. Pearls..
Thank you again,
Lisa