Mixed Emotions

You tell me you love me but I'm not enough
You tell me you want me but this life is too tough
I wish you were here but you're too far away
I wait and wait for you everyday

I'm so angry and broken, jealous and in love
It's as if you were something sent from above
You make me happy and sad, even at the same time
You can murder me in seconds without it being a crime

So if all of this love is true and real
Why is there anything more to feel?
If what we have is something pure
Why would you want someone else to adore?

You cannot love two people at a time
It would not be fair and it would not be fine
I'd tell you to stay or you can leave with her
But how could I say such horrible words?

I don't want you to go, please don't misunderstand
I'm just fighting each feeling that's coming to hand
It's raining outside and it's raining in me
Now I'm sharing my thoughts for the whole world to see

It's as if I'm going round in circles constantly
I break and get up to put it bluntly
It's the falling that kills me time after time
So if I'm already dead, what's next in line?

Explain to me what this is that I'm feeling
Tell me when it's safe for me to start healing
What happened between us, we never planned
So explain this moment because I don't understand.