-When I see you-

When I see you,

My heart starts racing,

As if it wants to jump out of my chest.

 

When I see you,

My eyes never blink,

They stay the way they are.

 

When I see you,

I think of how lucky I am,

To have the most prefect guy.

 

When I see you,

Nothing else is around,

It's just us, on the Earth's ground.

 

When I see you,

I know that our love is true,

Because baby,

When I see you,

My heart is complete.

Reviews

[Mike Espinosa]

This is an interesting poem. You did will with the stanzas, and your emotion is good.

My only suggestion is to change "My eyes never blink," to "My eyes don't blink," simply because the former says that you never blink ever, including when he's not around. It makes the statement flat and trivial.

Other than that, this is a good poem. Good job.

[clauds294]

Very cute! :)

[Soul Magic✯]

awww this is beautifully sweet from the heart and soul. great ink to the one you love

[Sam Severn]

Absolutely GORGEOUS!! My favorite verse is "When I see you/Nothing else is around/It's just us, on the Earth's ground." Now THAT is love!!! ㋡

[...]

... aw ... that really is very sweet ... :) ...

[KatiePie]

I really enjoyed reading this.
You provide enough sensory details for the reader to create an image in their head, but you don't drown us in words.
It flew by, but it'll stay with me.
It touched me but didn't devour me.
It feels like I'm on the outside looking in, but it touched my soul at the same time.
Great write! ^-^
I admire your talent *claps*

[Felicity]

nice write. sweet love poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A outstanding poem of love and emotion. I could feel your contentment and happiness in your words. A very good poem.
Coyote

[Gomer LePoet]

Well if this is Bradley, he's a lucky fella. but don't blink those eyes, it might go poof! nice piece.

[Jon]

Great job really heartfelt.