-OMG-

OMG

Save me from this toture.

Life at home is not great.

Hatred between my father and I.

So much hostility.

I think to myself

"Only one more year"

One more year is not enough.

I need to get out of here

Out of this torture.

Someone save me,

Anyone

OMG

So much pain!

Reviews

[Senseless whatever]

Rants are good for venting. Expand to let the reader 'feel' more.

[Coyote Poetry]

One yer ain't so bad. My son ran away from me at eighteen. At twenty he came back. Ain't easy to pay rent and car payment with no education. Always have a plan and a back-up plan. Best advice I can give. Don't burn the bridges behind you. In the end we all become adults and learn to understand each other. A powerful poem. I learn the hard way. Nothing good to say. best to say nothing. Words can burn the heart and soul forever.
Coyote

[Mike Espinosa]

This is a cool poem. The short lines give a kind of franticness of thought. I have little to say about this.

One of my main problems is the "not great." I would much rather have a single, more descriptive word in it's place.

Your punctuation still needs some work in this. You're getting better, but some lines need a comma or hyphen to make more sense.

This is a good poem though. You have a good kind of emotion behind it. Good job.

[clauds294]

Yes, I completly understand! I don't know how I'm surviving through my own tortures and I still have 2 years to go :(

[Augustus]

Again, the intensity is there, but I feel this was a little bit prosaic...You could have and you are very much capable of conveying your emotions in a far far better way...
I'm sure you'll get it right very soon. Keep writing! :)

[Taylor H.]

I think this could be written better but thats just me. I cant really say cuz its not mine. But this is a good poem to get your feelings out. Great job

[aftervision]

these words come with so much understanding from the heart of me -- stay strong and stay on the right side -- so you will look back at this and know what to NOT do to your kids

[Allison]

Yah, it's hard to be happy wen so much hostility is going on. Is ur dad upset tha ur marrying Brad or something?

[SamBug]

I know how problems at home can cause someone to go crazy and need to get out. My sister had to get out and now she's oceans away. :( This was very good, especially since I can relate.

[zappy]

this is great sorry that things between u and you're father are not good