I want you baby

At night I ly in bed

Hopeing some time

during the night

that you would show up.

I ly in bed

Wanting you

Needing you

Missing you

And most important

Loveing you.

I know you love me too

And I know you wish I was in your arms.

Baby I wanna hold you,

I wanna be with you right now

Baby I want you!

Reviews

[Paul Okeke]

good one ....it shows you love in understandable dictions

[AbsentElements]

It's one of those things you can really relate to... You put it into words very well. I couldn't help but think of my own past in this one. Very nice.

[KatiePie]

This is just flooded with emotion, I love it, every word of it, your feelings are pouring through this piece.

You did really good, other than the few errors this is perfection in every way.
Good job, and keep writing!

[Mike Espinosa]

This is an interesting poem. Your emotions come through well through it.

Your spelling needs to be revised. "Ly" should be "lie, "hopeing" and "loveing" do not need the e's.

For the sake of being concise, "Wanting you / Needing you / Missing you" can be changed to "I Want you / Need you / Miss you."

When you have a proper name or nickname, ie "Baby," you should use a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence, since it is not necessary to the statement.

Other than that, this is a good start to a poem. Good job.

[clauds294]

I can just feel all the emotion in it, it's short and sweet and fully packed with love!! wonderful job

[Nickle]

i can feel the love and compassion you put into this poem as if it were almost obsession...you convey the emotion of love very well and its nice being able to clearly see that...see if u can accomplish that with other feelings and emotions...another good poem...keep it up :)

[aftervision]

the night is extended when the bed made for two holds only one -- i feel the passion and love inside

[Laura Yida <3]

aww this is cute! i hope he comes home safe!

[Allison]

This is really good. It's so short, but it still has a ton of potential.

[ashley]

This is sweet. I'm not really a fan of the romantic poems, though. A few spelling errors: 'ly' should be 'lie'; 'hopeing' should be 'hoping'; 'loveing' should be 'loving'.
Good job! :D