Second Sight

press your ear against my chest

what you hear you know best

to understand this love

you must read the rest

a beautiful day

a girl said hey

i said hello

my name is RaY

we talked a while 

i heard no words

i saw her smile

i saw the world 

was this love

love at first sight

no it was not

i saw her the other day

i neglected to say hey

it was love at second sight

and the second time i said hi

the second time i saw my wife

Reviews

[Alicia™]

This is lovely!

[Kate Hunter]

good job. Very well written. loved it.

[just take a breath]

awwww :) all guys should be like this haha

i think you did an excellent job :) haha there really isn't anything wrong with it so sorry i couldn't give you anything that could help improve it...

sweet(:
-marissa

[Shadowlily]

This is interesting.. i really really enjoyed reading it

[Ria Benthil]

To be honest, I thought the direction the poem was going in was simply going to be concerning a naivety of love. However, I enjoyed the unique spin at the end when it was not "first sight", but "second sight." I found that to be an intriguing perspective. It is similar to the concept of how some believe the first kiss is magical when in fact, the second is the most intense. The reason the second overlook would be the most vital since the syntax of it is not present; the kiss is natural and unplanned.

Beautiful poem, indeed.

[SpokenWord]

LOL, love at second sight I know this happens way more than love at first sight. It was a fun read. Your saw the world after seeing her smile now that is some kind of smile not to fall in love with on the first sight

[Laha]

fun read! I really liked the flow of the first three stanzas :) Why did you stop rhyming in the next two? Just curious :)

[Im His Daughter]

too cute...great poem!

[Amit Parmessur]

You write well.
I often browse the site here looking for talented voices, for the new magazine Golden Apple, of which I am one of the editors.

If you wish to be published in our future issues have a look at us:

http://goldenappleezine.blogspot.com/2010/10/submissions.html

We publish mostly poems and very short stories. There are no restrictions on style and subject matter as long as nothing offends.

Regards

[Adrien Hupp]

i love the poem, it's beautiful:D