Okay

Ask me: "How do you feel?"

I'll tell you a lie.

I feel like I'm beautiful,

I'm in love with the sky.

The sky that's blue of the brightest day.

(though that's not necessarily true, I will not say)

Now what do you say?

"I thought you said you loved the ground yesterday."

That's true.

I did, once in the past.

I'm better now and the grounds not blue.

I'm fine. I'm good.

This sounds like a lie.

I'm confused.

When have I started to cry?

Tears on my face, you stare at me and ask:

"Need some tissues dear?"

I take them but don't use them.

I won't give into my fear.

The doctor that scares me looks quietly on.

"Are you okay?"

I can't answer without giving myself away.

I'm not fine. I'm not okay. I lied.

I don't answer or else I'll say:

I'm still in love with the ground today. 

The ground so hard, the earth shall shake when I fall from the sky I said I loved today.

I nod. A lie. I'm fine. Okay.

I ignore how I want to be like an angel and fall from the sky.

I smile. I'm fine. If I will it, it's true. Right?

The shrink looks worried, not alarmed. Not yet.

I worry to that she'll see right through me.

Coming here... I will regret.

I want to ask her: Why does living hurt?

Why are people mean?

Why am I not the same?

I will not ask.

She believes that progress was made.

It was all a lie, I guess.

But I'm fine anyways.