The Janitor's Lament

What Shakespear might have written if he had cleaned public restrooms for a living

              The Janitor's Lament

 

 Wherefore hast thou beshat my walls?

 Thou makest such a stench!

 Thy vulgar writ adorns my stalls,

 Thy tampons grace my sink.

 I've never seen the bugs, withal,

 That leapeth fifteen feet

 Nor yet beheld the little balls

 Thou fain wouldst  have me eat.

 Thou bidst me meet thee here, amain,

 For something called a "blow" (?)

 And stuffeth foolscap in my drains

 To make the torrents flow.

 Doodoo, doodoo, Oh word of fear,

Unfriendly to the jani-teer!

Author's Note

the little balls refered to are the ones left behind by "he who writes upon these walls...."

Reviews

[Through the Gateway]

Oh, this is just freakin' hilarious! A wonderfully written satire!

[hoyt]

not to be too cliche but, LMAO!!!...great bad poem!....Bravo..(could almost smelleth the stench)

[Red Brick Keshner]

That was an exciting read... after having to wade through ye olde englishe....
Hoping to read more of your work.

[Marie Anzalone]

Oh my this one made me laugh out loud! I vote for this as the winner of the "Bad Poems Need Love too" contest!

[Gold Milan]

I love it. little close to home for me; I live in a dorm and the restrooms aren't cleaned on the weekends. It gets rather janky.

[Chris T.]

This actually made me chuckle. I can't really criticize any of it, so good job. Really funny idea. You should do more in this style.

[Bright Eyes]

Haha!! This is funny and I really like how you took old language and applied it to modern things. Well done, I can't wait to read more!

[just a touch of bitters..]

This is hilarious! I loved the way you brought back "ye olde English" into a more modernized topic. Very well done!

[Tiffany]

This is a funny, wonderful poem...I cant stop smiling for recalling it. Great write...keep em coming! t.