a day in the life of a privateer

a day in the life of a privateer

A Story by me, myself and brenton
"

reader beware for your life is at stake

"

cutlasses flash as ships clash my blood stained clothes mould around my body. my cutlass stops as i feel it cuts through my duelers neck. the jolly roger flies mightaly beside us as we forge a gap through their attack. we reach the deck of the other ship closer to the treaure each step we take. but for each step we take we loose our breath for we are dieing by the dozen.then a cannon blastes and our ship drops a metre the boarding ladder break off. we fight for our lives as our ship sinks along with our hopes but with that comes revenge. WE WILL NOT DIE my best mate yells i return with a cheer and a vicious battle charge as two more men fall prey to my cutlass. we have won he yells again as a pain in my shoulder sprouts spreading through my body i fall to my knees and look out at the horizon to see the jolly roger flying with might!

 

© 2009 me, myself and brenton


Author's Note

me, myself and brenton
ignore all grammar problems

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Reviews

it is a bit hard to understand, especially as you haven't used any paragraphing but i sorta like it.
is that your pirate poem one?
(i can't tell)
im glad you accepted me as your friend too, and i thought since you were being nice to me id better be nice back!
dont worry though, thats not the only reason why i commented!
coolio

Posted 15 Years Ago


1 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Huh??? Hard to understand and I kinda agree wiv Berlin Guy but I get the gist... I like the first line. :)
Bella.

Posted 15 Years Ago


In that case I would have to be VERY ignorant. The mistakes are quite major, so you should defintily edit this before republishing. The action is good and the repetition of 'The mighty Jolly Roger' amplifies your meaning, but there are many grammatical and spelling problems to fix.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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216 Views
3 Reviews
Added on August 13, 2009

Author

me, myself and brenton
me, myself and brenton

hamilton, New Zealand



About
woof im the king of the dogs they are my subjecct so and so my storeys are to do with real events dogs or just stuff thats stuck in my head more..

Writing