A prologue of sorts from Emma Saywell, Londoner ...A Chapter by R J AskewEmma has covered most of the wars you have read about in the last decade. Hes second book, THE EYES OF WAR, is selling well. But she's had enough. She takes her camera for a stroll in Kew Gardens...WATCHING
SWIFTS
By
R.J.Askew
Kew Gardens,
London, one summer
I
shot him. That’s how summer
with my Swift man began, three shots one sunny late-April morn. Three shots I
gaze at with a never-before-known wistfulness.
Love, life and
death. That was that summer.
Though it’s the
drawings he gave me that boss my eyes, like grappling hooks. Up he swarms into
me from his pencilled brilliances. Never saw myself as nature girl, but when I
gaze at his drawings, spread out on my desk…
I photographed him as
I've photographed a thousand faces, men, women, the world over. Most just smile,
look embarrassed, the living that is. Being a war photographer…not ideal now,
sooo not ideal, especially when one loves the human face. If only one could turn
one’s love into… But then I’m no artist, I’m a war photographer, or was. Ten
years, click, click.
EMMA SAYWELL, AKA,
‘RICHOCHET’
Some get angry, not
many, but some do, get angry, just part of the human continuum, no problem. Just
observe, don't judge. I’m detached, too detached, ‘not an artist’, efficient,
professional, first with that thousand-word front-page image, ‘Ricochet’ to the
paras in forward recon, no fool. Yet my Swift Man drew me in,
literally.
‘You photographed me,’
he says, all smiles. ‘That means I can draw you. Sit down please. Luigi! Get my
snappy friend an espresso.’
He had me. I am
curious, can’t say no, especially with him smiling so. Oh that lucky smile of
his…why I shot him in the first place, for his Green Man smile, though I didn’t
know that’s what he was when I did. You could say I collected him, though I’m
not a huntress of men. No specimen drawer with trophs pinned in it. He seemed to
know it. Have you ever met anyone with savant insight, know more about you than
you do?
I thought, this guy’s
extraordinary, but why? So I sat down with him as he took his break from selling
rip-off ice-cream in Kew Gardens and watched in disbelief as he actually got out
his pad and pencils, smiling like he knows all your secrets. Then he’s drawing
me.
I watched him working
and wondered what I'd stumbled into, some street artist? He works at speed.
People stop to look over his shoulder in amazement. My gig's taken me from Minsk
to Moose Jaw. This was new.
Did my life change the
day I met him? Yes, though I didn’t know it then. Before I met him I’d have said
I’d seen too much of life, or thought I had, to admit I was ever likely to
experience such a radical emotional re-birth. But I did. Did I lose my head?
Yes, I stopped looking at life with my head and started looking with my soul. I
was a slave to the tyranny of fact based reality, thought too much. A chance
encounter with another human being and your life changes radically. I went for a
walk in my local London park with ‘Broken’, my battered old Canon. I was going
to shoot the lily pads in Kew’s dream of a Lily House. How can that change
anything? All a bit humbling, yet oh so wistful, fresh,
enlivening.
He got me talking,
telling him everything. He missed nothing. I just opened up to him that spring
morning. I’m pretty tough. I’ve seen men at their very best and their very, very
worst, but this… Told him everything. We’d just sit and talk, talk. Learnt
things about myself.
Three pics. Never shot
him again. That's all I've got, three shots, and a thousand sticks of memory.
Most inspiring summer of my life, three swift months that made sense of all that
went before and sowed a field of… Hope was a frailty I'd always scorned. Such
was my weary view of how we can be, until I met Leonardo, my Swift Man, real
name Tom, greenest of eyes.
I tell stories with my
lens, don't get involved, never become the story, objective, detached, follow
the rules, stay alive. Get the picture. Get paid. It’s a technical function,
even shooting a cairn of bodies after a missile strike in the Swat Valley,
especially shooting a cairn of bodies after a missile strike. Seven headless
bodies there. Five heads there. Which goes with which? Nothing's forever,
nothing matters. That was me, wondering if I’d see 2020, or even wanted to,
efficient to a fault, boxes ticked.
I spotted him one
Monday morning, before a single swift was back. I'd always taken them for
swallows or house martins. Twenty-first century busybusybusy, right? Like, swift
from swallow, who needs to know?
I was a hundred meters
off, scoping my long lens on a little al fresco cafe. And there it was, this
flashing smile, right in my lens. And the people he was serving were laughing at
whatever it was he was saying. And he kept looking up at the sky. Why? What was
he looking for, some eye-in-the-sky drone dude? He'd pull an ice-cream, check
out the sky. I look up. At what? The sky is empty.
I was instinctively
drawn to him. What was he looking for? And what kept him smiling? What was it
about him? I was getting mad, can you believe? Idiot man! What was it? Yet he
kept drawing me on.
Have you noticed how
the men you want are not the men who want you back? He broke all the rules, Mr.
Shabby-Chic did.
I’m sitting at his
cafe now in my mind's eye. It's at a crossroads in the heart of London’s
botanical garden soul. Five or six paths meet in front of a yellow brick
Georgian building that’s like some small but elegant country villa, The Old
Specimen House. You can't miss it, there's an enormous monkey puzzle tree right
next to it with dense dark green branches of shiny razor-sharp leaves that sweep
down to the ground like wings. You can’t see any twigs or the trunk of the tree
as every inch is covered in those deadly stiff little dagger leaves. Nature can
be so utterly malevolent when she puts her mind to it. It’s like I’m a character
in some dreamy allegorical novella, blissfully unreal, yet all the better for
being so.
His ice-cream stall’s
cheek by jowl with Luigi’s creperie. They share about a dozen little tables
with orange tops and blue parasols. The table furthest from the tourists’ trail
was the one we usually sat at. RESERVED. It was also the furthest from the
monkey puzzle, which he seemed to take exception to.
Yes, I got to know
him. I used to sit there when he was working sometimes. Yes, I spent many hours
sitting at 'our' table, sometimes reading, sometimes just watching the world do
its thang, thinking, waiting for him to join me. Yes, I've done a lot of reading
and thinking this summer, the most relaxed I've ever been, ever…thirty-one. No
more, no mores. The feeling’s still with me, even now. Even the Java I’m sipping
now tastes the sharper. But it was talking to him, listening to him… That was
the heart of it.
It was watching him
watching the swifts that did it, those magical sonnets of flight. And the way my
tracks kept drawing me back to his cafe, to him, even when I told myself to stay
away and focus on my book, especially when I told myself to stay away and get
back to Afghanistan for a post-war retro. A busy time for war snappers. And the
things he said, things that happened, strange things I wouldn’t have believed if
I hadn’t witnessed half of them. Nothing shattering, little things, moral and
spiritual things… Mind’s eye green.
I’d stay away for a
week or two. Sometimes felt a bit odd about it all. But then I’d go for a jog
and be back sitting there with him during his breaks, though I’d often sit there
when he was serving, too, just watching the swifts until I was almost as
obsessively into their flight as he was.
But it was the things
he said that won me.
He breathes verse,
speaks like he’s in a state of perpetual enlightenment, animated, yet
thoughtful, like some instinctively intelligent and articulate joy force, a wild
burst of spring. Nothing freaky or geeky. Tanned like he’s been fixing roofs all
his life, crumpled linen, mid-thirties, lost to the male grooming sector,
totally unsalvageable. White shirts. Dark voice, 70% cocoa, breather of poems.
Like this:
DREAMALITY
Inside light we
travel... O... O…
Not fast enough! we
go beyond
The eye of light
observes us pass
Recedes in awe at
human thought
The speed of
which... Can you conceive?
These multi-verses
in our souls
Are vaster than the
one without
We are, it seems,
astonishing
Complexities
compounding deep
Inspiral dreams
intrinsicate
Love’s primal
nature beauty born
To be, to think, to
see, to blink
.
As you receive this
peerless truth
Perceive creation’s
yearless youth
.
Gentleness. That’s the
word that best fits him, though his life’s been anything but. Yet he’s survived
it all with this incredible, well, the word is
gentleness.
There was something
else about him. As I was sitting there trying to read him, it was clear he was
reading deeper, delving into me with uninhibited curiosity. I felt like I’d met
a modern-day Hamlet in a manic upswing.
I made some notes and
taped some of what he said. Force of habit.
I mean, watching
swifts? Excuse me. Hasn’t a grown woman got her to-do lists to work through?
I did, was just about
to get my second collection of photos published. So I should have been on a
high. Though for some reason I was feeling, well, off the pace, for no obvious
reason, that was the worst part, the randomness of my languor. My doctor said I
was stressed and told me to go home and listen to some baroque music. Baroque
block. Being drawn to The Pillars of Creation by Nature’s best in the form of a
walking-around man with a mane of wavy raven hair proved, well… Girls! Wash your
minds out.
EMMA SAYWELL, 31, WAR
PHOTOGRAPHER
And so I’m sitting
there being drawn by a lovely lunk who can’t stop smiling, or talking, though he
actually turned out to be a black-belt listener. He had to be, the way I was,
all warred out. But this is not about me, the
messenger.
I’d just finished with
Josh after a stormy three-year off-off affair and I was having a fling with DC,
cul-de-sac man. Josh was my action man, save that the action wasn’t always with
me, or just with other women. And all cardigan-man DC wanted was someone just
like his jealous mother. So my walks in Kew were rare moments of escape from all
that. Cue serendipity. You spend all your life trying then just as you are about
to…
So this is what my
Swift Man said, his words.
My first thought was
why am I listening to this egoid loser? I seriously though he was insane, a perv
even. You know what London parks can be like for a lone woman. I’m a war
photographer. I’ve smelt the death, full-mental survival instincts. I of all
women should not be listening to this man. London can be just as dangerous as
any conflict zone, different danger, more surprising. You know where you are in
a war zone.
But listen I did.
Perhaps it was the way he was drawing, always drawing. His interest in me was
different to that of any other man I’ve ever met, which made him, interesting,
curiosity begetting itself in like measure.
And so I found myself
listening. Some of the things he confessed to me, dark things, moving
things… for more please go to ... © 2012 R J AskewAuthor's Note
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Added on March 25, 2012Last Updated on March 25, 2012 Tags: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006AXF Author
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