RISING RAIN

A mad conceit. At first I thought it was about someone else, thought twice about bothering to post it. But then I realised it applied to me the more so. I bows to you.

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Up-streaking-up before your eyes

You watch a puddle vanish rise

Up-streaking-up, into the clouds

Your sanity divesting shrouds

In rising rain you're made insane

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Your talent's deeply shallow vain

A thing reversing into clouds

In sheets of thin prosaic shrouds

You blindly see your river rise

Your vaunting vanity up flies

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Up-streaming-up in failure's pain

~

  

Reviews

[Sahar moonlight]

This was interesting.
The reversed view was amazing.

Wonderful

[Alana McGuire]

:D :D :D
I'm not usually a fan of rhyming poems, but this is definitely okay by me. More than okay, it's pretty darn spiffy.
"Up-streaking-up" I really like that. And "vaunting vanity".
If I made a favorites folder, I would definitely add this.
Thank you for totally inspiring me to push myself to write with even more passion.

[bill]

I've never devoted much time to poetry, but I do love a good poem, and this one is good. The cadence is top notch, reminiscent of Tyger, Tyger. I'm old-fashioned enough to love rhyming, and the rhyming here is also top notch, emphasizing the vain pain in the rain.

[Arielle Ann]

you have a wonderful way of playing with words and twists- "Your sanity divesting shrouds, In rising rain you're made insane"; sanity torn in shreds ,flies with clouds and you are rendered insane; again "Your talent's deeply shallow vain,A thing reversing into clouds"-pride simply reverses back as clouds,.."Your vaunting vanity up flies, Up from the ground, up-rising rain,Up-streaming-up in failure's pain"-finally vanity dissipates, rendering you humble ...to sum up it defines transformation of a vain person to a down to earth being, just like rain reverses to clouds...hope am correct in understanding :)

[Ken Simm.]

Now you know where we live there is going to be a lot of up-rising rain. And I mean that in more ways than one. Twisty, turny and indeed up rising.

[Leslie Philibert]

Interesting.I read a couple of the poems and you stick to your style,using a lot of fragmentation and traditional couplets. Liked the internal rhyming. Good work.

This is amazing, and perfectly twisted, into a strong poem, pure! I love it.

[Cherrie]

interesting twist with your Van Gough of words

[Wildfleour]

You had me at the title.

[Christina May Shanaberg]

So true! Our greatest thoughts, often, arise from the mirky puddles of life that we find ourselves in, from time to time. A wonderful write!!