RISING RAIN

A mad conceit. At first I thought it was about someone else, thought twice about bothering to post it. But then I realised it applied to me the more so. I bows to you.

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Up-streaking-up before your eyes

You watch a puddle vanish rise

Up-streaking-up, into the clouds

Your sanity divesting shrouds

In rising rain you're made insane

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Your talent's deeply shallow vain

A thing reversing into clouds

In sheets of thin prosaic shrouds

You blindly see your river rise

Your vaunting vanity up flies

Up from the ground, up-rising rain

Up-streaming-up in failure's pain

~

  

Reviews

[Beccy]

It mostly tends to rain on poet's parades; the sun seeming to wait until we've claimed our six feet of soil.

Just as well that scribblers are a mainly optimistic bunch. :) Beccy.

[A.A.Romanczuk]

In the past minute, I've decided something that perhaps I've felt all along, just not voiced. Most of our loveliest poems are born from sorrow, disappointment, angst, restlessness. To be deeply happy is to already live in poetry..sometimes so wonderful, that it is difficult to write about. To be unhappy is to ride on the wings of poetry, to be smothered by poetry, and forced to spew it out- to suck it out like venom.

[AlteredReality]

Love the concept here and I love the dichotomy of the word choice - "deeply shallow", "You blindly see". The last two words sum it up well....and what a feeling that is, phew.

[Mockingbird]

perhaps when one's perception turns out to be something so inexplicable to them it just drives them mad. when you think you're right all the time then proven completely wrong you feel that failure. i like the metaphor and the imagery.

[Chris Yip]

Interesting read, I read it over and over again. It definitely was inspired by something more than evaporation, maybe failure? Well rhymed and leaves one thinking deeply. Well done again for a thoughtful write and read.

[WhiteWillow]

This piece takes on a life of its own, existing in a topsy-turvy world. Yet, your words convey your message in a very concise, relatable way. Love the uniqueness of this poem.

[J. J. Nightingale]

SOMETIMES WE PERCEIVE OURSELVES AS NOTHING .. AND SOMETIMES WE CAN NOT EVEN SEE WHAT WE TRULY ARE ..

GOOD THOUGHTS TO PONDER .. JAZZ

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Double wow, love your wording and flow! Such spectacular writing here!

[Lina Grey]

I really liked this. The gentle, upbeat flow and constant rhyming scheme make it sound like a delightful child's song, but the words themselves differ. This clearly shows your unique perspective and interesting writing style. I'm not completely sure what you intended to share with this controversial poem, but I interpreted it as an extended metaphor about slowly going mad. Regardless, it was intriguing and very well-written. Thank you.

[The Winter Grey]

You have such a unique use of language, as well as a clearly unique perspective of the world. Your intriguingly verbose style really shines here, and whatever meaning or message may lie underneath (metaphor for madness? the futility of self?) dances about the page in the best possible way.