DEEP IN THE SOUND OF AN EMPTY HOUSE

I am on my own for a week and have been listening to silence. Paint still wet on this one.

Thud of front door behind you

Tinkle of keys

Frog in throat

...so this is it...

Family gone

Sofas bare of teen pride sprawling

No wife glancing over shoulder down hall

You reach for radio

Pause

Don't know why

Pause spreads

And then you hear it

Breathing

Ever so faintly, architecturally

All around you

Breathing

Dining room lung

Breathing gently

Sitting room lung

Breathing you in

Listening, listening

But who to whom, who to whom?

Pinch mind

Shape up!

Breakfast bowl, washing on table, empty milk bottle

Mind spins

Mortal contractions swirl

Conscience grins sarcastically

Comedie del Arting me

Pinch mind

Breathe deep

Jab radio on button

Volume UP!

Planet Rock

Bridge of Sighs?

Yes, Bridge...of...sighs...

Robin? Robin? ... Robin Trower

Bridge of sighs!

Lean against fridge

Sink to floor

So this is what it is like

House breathes you in

Listens

House breathes you out

Listens

Sound of feet on stairs not

Sound of daughter's vi'lin not

Sound of sound of sound of not

Shoulders shudder

Tears spring

O what is is to be a man

House sighs

You an' me now babes

Bridge of sighs

Marriage ... dies

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Oh! Come on now...marriage dies, bit of overkill there Ronald. I should think you would be screaming Halleluia Praise God...peace at last!!! No? What will you be like when the little angels leave home and the missus has daily volunteer work? I hate to think about it...learn to knit a shawl to put over your knees when the sun goes down...it is difficult, but it is worse when empty nest syndrome really kicks in, no patches on your arm to stop that craving...you softy you.
Nicely expressed right down to the empty milk bottle, throw it out Ron or the smell will be worse than the emptyness...
Helen :-)

[The Analog Kid]

This is good. Actually how I feel right this moment as I hide in another room to relax!

[Emily B]

I should think the return of noise was a joyous occasion . . . wonderfully written

[deeps]

I like this, I think it is awesome
Very well written.
Wonderful Flow as well

[Sean M. Addams]

the descriptions and detail you have put into this are breath taking.... flow is really good... overall a very impressive piece... thanks for entering my contest.... nice job on this one!!!!

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

House breathes you in

Listens

House breathes you out

Listens


that struck me as eerily profound.. i am loving the hollow, aching feeling, filled with a soft anxiety that this poem gives...

[Silver_Moon]

The poetry is quite sad. I know the feeling of being in an empty house, not to mention I was left alone in a big house before with all the lights out! Sheessshhh! Nothing to do but to listen to the wind against the walls which can be very creepy sometimes. Hehehe!!

Nice work here though! Great description on how to be alone in a house. :D

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Yea, I can relate to this feeling. You hear every sound when you find yourself alone after being use to the house being busy. The thing is if you get use to it you've been alone too long.

You've written this so well you could hear the house breathing.


As usual and excellent write.

[CLUTZ]

saddness..... I guess its hard to be home alone in the quiet when you're so used to it being loud and hearing the voices of your family. i like it. I'd be kinda scared if I started to hear my house breathing. (it might eat me if its alive)