Why Do I Love You So Much?

Dear G-d, 

Somehow, 

I always find myself

Writing to You. 

It's just funny because

You 

Already

Know 

Everything.

Why do I love you

So much?

Why do I now feel myself

Craving Your touch,

 Your literary fingers

The living words...

That flutter from the pages

From deep voices, 

Take flight in my mind...

As if birds. 

G-d

You give me 

Everything

Including

A brother who has

Started smoking, 

An uncle who's sick with who-knows-what

See

I am not saying

I am not afraid

I am just saying that

I have started to pray 

Really pray

Meaning

G-d,

Oh, sweet Father in Heaven

Tatte Leben,

I know You will

Answer me

Answering doesn't mean

Granting my every request, 

Cleaning up my mess, 

Answering means

Kissing my cheek gently, 

Softly holding me and whispering

"This is for your good sweet pea, whatever is happening." 

Saying, "I hear you, darling." 

What a miracle! 

I have faith now

Or rather, 

Faith I am collecting 

It's a process, 

It's always, 

Always a process...

It's work

But

G-d, 

Feeling you here

Is SO

SO worth it

So, please G-d, 

Help me

Work on this

So Please, 

Don't play that game with me

The one where You hide Your Awesome Face

Let me see

You

Let me praise 

You

For all You give, do

Let me thank You

For every cut, bruise, breeze

But I need You to remind me

That they are all good for me...

Please!

Why do I love You so much?

Love, 

Your Daughter

Reviews

[angel]

Lovely. I'm so happy for you, dear sister!'You spoke right when you said that God does not grant every request.. He does answer all our prayers, but sometimes, the answer is 'no'.
He knows our needs, and will meet them. As for our 'wants', He knows what is best for us, and sometimes what we want may be contrary to our own good.Our earthly parents often say no to our wants as well, yet no one insists that they do not exist because of this.

You are also correct in saying that it is a process, but remember: "Being confident in this;He who began a good work in you shall be faithful to complete it..."--PhiIippians 1;6
Steve Green sings a beautiful song concerning that verse. You can hear it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNjZlHARnEk
Another great, encouraging song in the same place, OH, I WANT TO KNOW YOU MORE.
God will never abandon you. Whether you see evidence of this or not, He is always close enough to hear your whispered prayer.

[R.E.K.]

Thank you so much for your encouraging review! I am personally not of the Christian Faith, but it's so rare and caring to see that there are genuine individuals out there who feel enough empathy to write an extra few words of support and recommend other encouraging sources! Really, I appreciate it so, so much!
Wishing you all the best,
Ellie

[angel]

You're very welcome, and I hope you'll feel right at home here.