We're Not Going, We're Coming

My mind will hold you softly

At the glowing Shabbos table

As I fill the soup bowls,

Ladle

A little love 

I will think of you too

I will imagine I am feeding you

And my fingers will try to recall

The formation of your face

The luster of your bottomless eyes

Your arms from outerspace

I'll bite my lip

Strangled whisper "He's fine"

The not knowing will kill me 

As the lights from the Chanukah candles 

Slowly flicker, fade

I'll go through every name

Every name I called you

Each one I didn't yet say

Before we dissolved

Joseph- Babe, I love you

Yosef- My love

Superhero- My handsome

Baby-My dove

Zeiskeit-My sweetheart

Zeese-My best friend

We're not going, We're coming

Yona- Hashem has a plan

And Neshamalah, Soul

 Yos, My neverlover who yawns 

There is always tomorrow

There is always a dawn

I'll mouth all our stories

I'll stroke you and weep

Yosef, yikari, 

Dear, how will we sleep?

Come join me

Under the exhale of God

The touch of His fingers 

Is more than enough

Deep breath in - Words of Torah

Deep breath out- say Shema

There are moments I look in your eyes

Lie in awe, 

Gapeing, mouth open

Tingle in 

Disbelief

For you are...

Constellations, a powerhouse

That can, will 

Fill..the empty

Relieve

Some part of the black hole

That is this barren world

Warm some of it's cold

Next year,

My knuckles will trace the wall

That protected the temple 

That housed God,

Was His home

I will write your name on white papers

Place "yosef" between stones

Pray for your hopes, and your dreams, 

Your stretchy skin,

 Your beautiful bones

Yos, don't grow weary

Yos, soldier, please fight

Yos, this world is not what it seems

Look into my eyes

We don't know

And somehow, 

It's okay

For Aba says:

" I formed you my children,

 I will guide you each day."

Be humble my Yosef

Relinquish all ill

Live life with strong faith

Be soft, bright, and beautiful

Love, 

Ellie

Reviews

[(Super) Heroes Never Di..]

I love how personal this is. I feel like I'm peeking in on something powerful and sad and something I can never fully understand. Well done.

[R.E.K.]

thank you so much. Yeah, I probobly should have used less hebrew. But it's something i wrote for my lover, so of course, it will never be fully understood. Thank you for taking the time to read this.