Monday Get Harder and Harder

Who knew

that Mondays

would get harder and harder

burrow unconsciously

away from reality,

 farther and farther

please God

help me believe

in the sunshine

of summer, in rainbow arched forgiveness

on bunkered down rainy days

God, 

oh God,

Please help me receive

all the love that I am 

denying my body

they reach out

I force the cringe

I remove the need 

with a binge

God who knew

 that Mondays would get harder and harder

it can always get harder

this beauty, this curse, 

this insanity

ride my bike there- in summer

hold my life there- in summer

I am breathing only

breathing only

only for summer

God, will you help me find those wings

those beautiful wings

in those ninety-three days

scaled soft white embroidered feathers

brush your fingertips

in extraordinary kinds of electricity 

across my soul

oh get me through these Mondays

so in summer, I can rebuild, 

become whole.

Monday says:

"Stay in bed,"

"Butterfly baby, 

Bleed red."

and I find solace

only in

the confidence that

I know how 

I know how to

lie still in bed, 

at least I have strength enough,

contain the brilliance of

knowing how

to do that. 

I find pain in

the screams

I thought I left with

the tantrums of

my childhood, 

my throat contracts like 

I can't carry on..like this..no more

Mondays keep getting  a little harder 

God get me to summer 

please