You Would Put The Ladybug Outside

Misconnection, misunderstanding

Dear, I know you wouldn't hurt a fly now

Dear, I know you'd put the ladybug outside

But I've been hurting for a while and 

I love you enough to tell you why

I don't need you to pretend that you miss me

You can tell me you're tired, that's fine

But dear, I've begun to feel like a burden

Like a bit of a waste of your time

Dear I'm more than happy to watch you

As you dream and you play all your games

But it pinches when you don't realize I'm crying

When you forget to ask "How was your day?"

And I don't need to see you every day dear

Though I love the way your hair falls in your eyes

But I've started to feel like a chore now

One you put off until you can't open your eyes

Am I monster if I miss the way you talk and

miss how you tell me words I don't know

and maybe we were better on our own but

it still hurts to feel like dying..alone

I know I shouldn't take silence as a shoulder

Yet sometimes I wish you'd say "leave me alone"

So I wasn't always waiting in pieces

putting off all my duties at home 

And I didn't mean our conversation to go dark yet

all the misplaced suicidal I'd been feeling found a home

And I've begun to feel like your "I love you."'s are a preface to

"Sorry but I gotta go."

So I'm so sorry I'm so full of holes and

I'm so sorry if I take up more than five of your time

I want you to be happy and whole and

So I'm sorry if I make you sigh

And I've poured all my soul in your cup and

Maybe you missed mine cuz it's dry

Yes, Dear, I know you never intended misconnection

Yet there is a space, not sure why

So if you love me, why did you leave me?

And if you didn't, do you want to try?

Or are you just not trying to hurt me, 

Are you really unaware I wanted to die?

This space between us can be sacred

This time we spend alone can be Divine

But somehow I think I've lost the wavelength

Maybe with your hat, you lost the line

Dear, I know you wouldn't hurt a fly now

Dear, I know you'd put the ladybug outside

But I've been hurting for a while and 

I love you enough to tell you why

Oh how I worry about your health and joy, Dove

Oh how I dream of our joint lives

But so many people say things... I'm scared that...

Maybe one day you'd change your mind

 

Dear I'm sorry if my words are lengthy

The last thing I want is to pain

My heart and mind are simply aching

 I don't judge you, I love you the same