Forest Elementary School

Three friends are dared to go into an abandoned elementary school. What mysteries are hiding inside?

  “S**t, Ben, turn that thing off,” Greg says as he shoves Ben's camera away from his view. Greg leans on the brick wall of the abandoned Forest Elementary School and lets out air. His breath glows white under Ben's flashlight.

“This is an adventure.” Ben protests. “It's about excitement and mystery. Everyone is scared s**t-less of this building, and yet we're going in there? Every minute of it must be documented. If not for proof, than for the sake of film itself. This is gold.”

“We're just walking around in the dark!” Greg fling his right hand out. “Want some excitement? Go document a frat party. Get some naked girls and pay um' something. Not much mystery, but a whole lot of fun.”

“I don't have the right words to describe how wrong that was.” Ben's camera faces the ground and the surroundings suddenly dim. “But can't you just cooperate? Frank will beat the hell out of you if you back out now.”

“Well then face the damn thing at the star.”

Ben shoots the lens at me. “Say something good, Mark. Redeem him, please.” The flashlight taped to Ben's camera lights up my retina. 

“Let's go see if anyone's home."

I walk along the side of the building. Ben follows closely behind saying things like, “That was great!” “Greg, why can't you be more like Mark?” and so on. Greg just stumbles and huffs along clenching his thin sweater around his arms. He had too much to drink before he came. He would have picked a thicker coat otherwise.

My fingers grip the frosted door handle, and I give a pull. It's open. The door squeals in pain as its hinges rub against each other. I stand there a minute contemplating whither or not to actually go in. I honestly didn't expect it to be open. When Frank Rolland dared me to go in here, there was no way I was backing down - not with Michelle Nickles standing right there. But I thought the door would be locked, and then we'd all go home and have a good laugh.

Not the case.

I step onto the hard floor. Ben shines his light around and reveals a hallway in the east wing. Yellow tiles speckle the ground. And the walls faintly resemble the color white. I wish they would have just torn it down ten years ago. The city couldn't due to some parent threatening a lawsuit. Their daughter died here, and they wanted it to be left up in her memory - it is actually. There is a stone outside made for her. But I don't care about memories. This place scares me. It scares everyone.

We walk down the hallway. Our heavy breaths bounce off the walls. Our footsteps echo in our ears. We have to be in here ten minutes. And we have to film ourselves in the cafeteria.

I turn the corner still remembering what this school used to look like. I keep walking. I turn left and then cut through a classroom. Ben's camera still leads the way. It only gives us a few feet of light. Otherwise we are in complete darkness.

We walk past the stairs and Ben shines the light near the bottom of the steps. Dried blood stains the last few steps and spreads on to the floor.

“Why wouldn't they clean this up?” Ben asks.

I shrug. “I thought they did, but I don't know. I was pretty young when it happened.”

Something grabs my arms.

I fling myself around, fists raised. Ben's light shines in my face. Greg laughs hysterically.

“Your face man!” Greg holds his stomach and shows me just how much beer he drank. “I scared the s**t out of you!”

“God, Greg,” I say turning and walking again. “You're an idiot.”

Greg is still laughing when we reach the cafeteria. Ben motions for me to turn around and face him. He shines the light on my face, and I give a thumbs up. He then proceeds to scope out the room. I check my watch.

Five more minutes.

“Hey, guys, check this out,” Ben calls from the other side of the cafeteria.

Grey and I reach Ben and watch his trail of light move across the floor, up the wall, and then rest on a picture frame.

I don't remember this picture.

“What the hell?” Greg says.

The man in the picture is wearing a black suit, a black tie, and flight goggles. His hands are neatly crossed over his chest, and his mouth carries a flat expression.

“How did this get here?” I ask.

“You don't remember it?" Ben says. "Didn't you go to school here?”

“Yeah, I did. And everything in this school is the same except for this. I don't even know what that means.”

“Her case was kept quiet,” Greg says. Ben and I both give him our attention.

Greg keeps his voice low. “But a theory has been going around that she didn't die from falling down the stairs. She was first strangled by this crazy dude who was stalking her, and then her body was thrown down the steps. A few kids who found her dead said there were bruises on her neck.”

He pauses a moment for effect. “Maybe that's him.” Greg smirks.

I shake my head. “That's all crap.”

“Is it?”

Ben's light shifted from Greg's face to other parts of the room. “That's too creepy for me to think about right now. Let's save it for later.”

Agreed.

We walk around the cafeteria following Ben's light.

“Didn't you know the girl that died?” Ben asks me.

“Yeah, she was in my class. I was there the day she died.” Ben stops walking, backs up a few paces, adjusts his camera, and shines the light on me. He nods asking me to continue speaking. “I didn't see her die, of course. All I saw was a body bag being brought into an ambulance.” I pause a moment. “I did see this guy, though. He would always be standing outside the school. He would stand in this one place outside the second grade classroom window. He didn't stay for long " only five, ten minutes a day. So I never said anything. But it was weird. And he didn't come by the school anymore after the girl died.”

Greg nods and smiles. “Yup, that is weird. Almost... stalker-like.”

“It could have been someone's dad or no one at all - just my imagination.” I shake my head. “I shouldn't have said anything.” I start walking again. 

Ben follows shortly after. Then Greg.

Ben yanks back my shoulder forcing me to a stop. “What the hell was that?”

Greg stopped too.

“What?” I look around. “What are you talking about?”

“Did you see that?” Ben shout-whispers shooting his light in various directions.

I shake my head. “It was probably nothing, Ben. Just an old mop or something.”

I feel Ben's hand shaking on my shoulder. I look to Greg. He's steady. Not moving. And not adding any comments.

“Did you see it?” I ask him.

Greg looks at me. “I - I don't know.”

I hear what sounds like a chair being thrown across the room. 

Behind me.

We run. We don't look back. We trip over each other screaming. Yelling. Reaching through the dark.

I hear another chair.

“Oh, s**t! Oh, s**t! Oh, s**t!” Greg curses.

My heart beats against my ribs. Pounding for freedom. I force my eyes to remain open to let in light. I need to get out of here.

I turn right. My feet moving faster then my head can process. I lose balance, slam into the wall, and tumble to the ground.

I hear a little girl's voice say, 

“Don't leave me alone.”

It's too close - too close to me.

Ben's hand grips unto my arm and yanks me up. His camera light slashes against the dark halls as we run. We see Greg running before us in flashes, like a strobe light. His body flailing around and pushing itself forward.

Then, I see the door.

It's twenty feet away. Fifteen feet. Ten. Five. Our bodies slam against the glass.

It doesn't open.

We push. Pull. Yank. Scream. Claw. Punch. Fight our way through. But we can't open it. We cry frantically for help. Hoping someone's there. Hoping someone hears.

Then I hear my name.

“Mark.”

I scream. “Stay away!” 

I feel my bloody fingertips curling into the door handles. And Ben's light hits a blurry figure. Just for a second. But I saw her. I saw eyes staring into mine. They were too close.

Then the voice again.

“Shhh. All of you.”

Ben's flashlight shuts off.

Author's Note

Sorry if it feels a bit rushed. I'm hoping to edit a little more later. Please, tell me what you think of the dialogue! Oh, and I'm sorry for the cussing. I felt it added to the story. Hope I don't offend anyone.

Reviews

[Inject Positivity]

nicely done.... it keeps the reader interested.... the concept was truly amazing and i feel the cussing has had added a spark in the story.... catchy write with mysterious thoughts.... the reader will definitely feel it worth reading.....

[Kristin Noel]

This is an amazing compliment. Thanks so much. Seriously. Thank you. :)

[Inject Positivity]

you are welcome dear frnd..

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

the cussing is definitely necessary here tell me why did you leave me in suspense at the end? cant we just know what happens when that damn flash light turns off? I think it was really good, I am writing a good mystery myself, its a new area for me to work in but i hope I can get there soon enough, I would really like for you to take a look at one of my pieces titled Reflection, its not very inclined into mystery but it is inclined into innovation. Let me know and thank you very much, its a shame i see no other writing, Ill be waiting for more.

[Kristin Noel]

Wow! Thank you! It means so much to see other people enjoy this story. And haha sorry to leave you hanging. It just seemed right, if you know what I mean. :)

[McBear]

I really liked this. I agree with ZJC, some minor editing mistakes as present like you said anyways. I really like this genre and am willing to read other things you may have :)

[Kristin Noel]

Thank you very much! I'm trying to finish up some writing so I can post it, but most of the things I'm working on are far too long to post... I'm hoping to get more stuff up soon.

[ZJC]

Love it. Definitely grabs your attention at the beginning. Interesting story, and one that you begin telling, but do not give away too much backstory. I'd go ahead and read through it again for small editing mistakes. Stuff like this:

“Didn't know know the girl that died?” Ben asks me.

Believe you're trying to say 'Didn't you know the girl that died?"

Looking forward to more writing

[Kristin Noel]

Sorry, thought I had replied to this but obviously did not... Thank you very much! I didn't even see that mistake. I've edited this thing six times and yet, there it was. Thanks, I'll read through it again! I really appreciate your feedback.

[MoonChild]

I loved it... I like thrillers. I like how you went into detail like "My heart was beating against my chest, beating for freedom."

[Kristin Noel]

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate that!