Comforting the broken soul

Shoving that cake in your mouth.

Do I really want it.NO?

Why am i eating it then

because I'm upset, stressed,

annoyed, hurting and confused.

Learnt at an early age

no one was going to give me love

not even from my mother or father.

I comfort eat to say everything will be

okay. Without it ending in sex or getting hurt

or battered or bruised.

I saw them drink themself to death.

So thought balls to that.

They took medication to calm their

nerves. What a joke. They where

addicted to them too.

So ended up comfort eating to find

my escape and self love and to be love.

Yes, your thinking. How can food love you?

Course it can not. But it fills a deep void

inside you that needs filling up. And makes you

feel whole again. As a human being a person.

As nothing and no else was going to help

you, love you or give you the affection you

needed, craved and desired.

All your young life.

So food became your friend.

Your soul mate. Your comforter.

So walk in my shoes before you judge

my compulsion to comfort eat.

And see how well you

would have coped

without alcohol or drugs

or anything else to turn too.

So at the end of the day.

I survived an evil twisted upbringing

and comfort eat still today.

When stressed, upset

or cannot handle life's

situations at times still.

But I am me. Dawn. I survived. I am a lucky one.

Hard to believe but true.

Life is not always a bed of sweet rose,

and a nice silver spoons upbringing, for all children

with decent good loving parents.

Not like mine. No way.

I overcame and still here

That is a reward in itself.

Reviews

[Margie F]

What a vulnerable picture. I can identify. Food was my drug of choice as well. I have won that war but still recovering from the battle scars of 40 something years of food abuse. It is so true that people look at this way of comfort or self-medication as being worse somehow than alcohol or drugs that truly does have a more immediate impact on those who suffer alongside the person. One thing that helped me begin to gain control over it was to realize that "comfort food" should make you "comfortable." I've never been more uncomfortable in my life than when I was using food to medicate. It was a lie. Just like everything I was trying to adjust to. What REALLY did it was when I conquered that b***h! I mean like a female warrior slaying a f'n dragon! Slay that b***h!! Such empowerment! But, I do feel your pain and comfort. I send hugs for all of the times you needed them and didn't get them. It's never too late to change the focus. I wish you the absolute best! You're awesome and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!

[Onlyme]

Thanks Margie F for the inspiration to face my comfortable demon. Its true. Makes me feel worse long run not better. Bless you Margie for being inspirational for me. Dawn.

[Margie F]

Anytime you need me, you know where to find me.

[gram linski]

Beautiful and sad read , Dawn, I read this with a tear in my eye, but the strength of your character shines through, you are not only a survivor but a heroine too, all hail you ! big hugs fae me.

[Chris Shaw]

A poem of survival Dawn. Like the phoenix you rose above it all. The fact that you crave a bit of extra food to comfort you, when there is no other comfort is so understandable. I shall judge no-one. I have not walked in their shoes. Your poem will be relatable to many dear poet.

Chris

[wordman]

you are a beautiful person dawn,inside and out
just believe

[kentuck14]

Dawn, your being vulnerable is noteworthy. All of us are broken in some way. What I admire is that you are an agent of truth and love here on WC. You were the 1st to befriend me as a newcomer . . . thanks for that. Keep up the work and may GOD bless.
Tom

[Onlyme]

Thank you Tom, that was kind of you to say. Dawn.

[emmajoy]

Whilst the story thread through you long, lingering, sad poem... is such tragedy, I do understand or, am trying to. Am the opposite to you, food can be my enemy. But, what i do eat is good stuff, however little so am okay most of the time. You do realise that in a way - a convoluted way, you're a hero/heroine, don't you? Dawn, you've fought your demons, your tragic early life, and say so - to most extent - comfortable in your own skin. If you can write the way you do and sit cosy down in a chair and smile, then, somehow you can blow your own trumpet voluntary. If at times, you find self unable to let loose your thoughts and power, perhaps maybe untangle what's missing. Dawn, may all your days birth light and hope.

[Onlyme]

Cheers emmajoy, for the information and thoughts to ponder on and use. bless you Dawn.

[emmajoy]

Feel free to visit my message box, Dawn.

[Onlyme]

thank you emmajoy. :)

[emmajoy]

Meant if a chitter chat needed, not reviews and stuff.