Families. Who wants one?

Git is a term of insult with origins in [English] denoting an unpleasant, silly, incompetent, annoying, senile, elderly or childish person.

My grandmother was a force to reckon with.
She was the type of woman who took no prisoners
and what she said rules.

And her husband, my grandfather,  was a nice quiet soul.
He died before I was ever born. From what I was told,
from my father.
He worked hard and came home and gave her.

all his wages. She was a tyrant.

They had two sons. They were chalk and cheese.
One loved to study and play chess. And have his head
stuck in a book. But on the quiet,
he liked the girls and even had sex with them.
But made out to his parents
he was a good boy and did nothing like that.

The other one my father was a typical young lad,
went out enjoyed life, became a car mechanic
and enjoyed it. Married at 20 and then had me
years later.

Suddenly gets phone call his father died.
He came to sort the funeral and his mother out.
And ended up moving in with my mother
with me and his wife.

My Uncle his brother. Carried on doing his thing.
Going to Uni. And living the good life. Buying a house.
In a posh area of Town, I must add. Not you're typical
any housing area.
And only helped out with the minimal effects with
his own mother when he was really made
to do
something from her or my father need help only he
could give. And he just couldn't get out of it.
Then doing a runner as quickly as he could soon after when a
chance cropped up. But very rarely
did you see him in general.
And If you ever did it was always for something he was after
for himself and no other reason. He proved that time and
time again. On the rare times, he showed up.

My gran was still an outspoken character. She was bossy.
Nasty at times. And thought the world of her youngest
son my Uncle. And hated my father.
Even though he gave up his life for hers.
Instead of her getting put into old peoples home
or having to live alone. She had family take care of her.
Is simply.

I have no contact with my Uncle he just proved to me
how selfish he was and still is.
And my family suffered for his lack of caring attitude for his
own mother and brother. My Uncle was asked many years later
to assist with his mother. He said NO. And dumped her
back at our house as quick as he could. She wanted
to live with him. And HE didn't want that. She used a
rare visit to my Uncle house to tell him she wanted to live with him.
And his answer was to put her in his nice care and bring
her directly back to us.
I remember that day so clearly as thou yesterday.

No wonder my parents ended up turning to alcohol to cope
They took on more than they could cope with. Having 3
different generations living under one roof. And two women.
With one having to bend down from a power struggle of an
older woman. And my father being piggy in the middle
between his wife and mother. To name a few problems this
situation did cause. I see that more now as I reflect on the
past and life.

My grandmother was besotted by a son who didn't care about
her and the other one who she couldn't stand or love him.
Tragic and so very true. He died a broken man. Looking after
and caring for a mother who hated him. Families ah.
They make you, break you, and hurt you.

I guess also my grandmother was also a victim in all this too.
She was an unhappy soul unloved by her
stepmother. Her mother died when she was young. And
no matter what she did she could never please her stepmother.
So her bitterness carried on to one of her sons. The son who
did love her the best he could.

I guess the moral of my life growing up is. None of us is perfect
not even I. But at least I understand a little better now the
dynamics of my family.

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Hello, Dawn! :)
That's quite a story. It's interesting to think of how the different personalities affect each other.

[Dave]

My goodness it seems like you have all the dynamics of a tragic "soap opera." I suppose we all have some degree of craziness in our families. My step-father, I suppose because I looked so much like my real father, whom I think my mother still loved, used me, when he got drunk, which was often as a punching bag. The best thing that came out of all of it was that I swore that if i ever had a family and children I would treat them the way they should be. I'm proud to be able to say I kept my promise.

Take care - Dave

[Coyote Poetry]

My family is loco too. Kept kids away from them. Cigarettes, smoking, drinking and fighting. I do visit. Short visits. I do understand this story dear Dawn.
Coyote

[gram linski]

Great stuff, Dawn, no one can untangle the mad b*****d cacophony of family life and love, this meant a lot to me I read your words with a tear in my eye,

[Onlyme]

Thanks Gram for understanding. We all have our own demons caused by others. Just dont let them win no more over you. Be your own person for you now. hugs. Dawn.