The Recorder of My Mind.... Stuck At times..

My head inside

is screaming at me.

Hurting like hell.

And in pain.

My thoughts are mixed

up and in a

haze.

Like a constant movie

spinning to fast.

And then getting

stuck on the reel.

And just flicking

over and over again.

And getting blinded

by the bright light

ahead into my eyes.

My post traumatic stress

is playing me up

badly today.

Something has triggered it.

And not quite sure what it was.

Sometimes it's something

so slight and insignificant

to others.

It would be nothing

but to me. It's

a major trigger.

And other times.

No problem at all

telling, what it was

that upset me.

And started

it.

Other times if

I am feel unwell

and lacking sleep and

stressed out in general.

That triggers and make it worse.

And feeling as though you are

slowly dying from within.

But on the outside your

trying so hard to look and

act normally towards others.

How ironic is that and sad?

You see I was abused by my

family growing up in all ways.

And had a few bad relationships

along the way after.

So those memories still haunt

me to this very day.

Sometimes it can be a smell

someone said something,

a thought, anything.

A reminder of  the past

that still haunts you to this very day.

That to anyone looking at you.

Thinking oh nothing up with them.

But inside your going nuts.

Even though I like to believe

I have moved on

and conquered my fears.

I have done to a strong degree.

Just P.T.S.D.  does not let

you forget your past totally.

Reviews

[gram linski]

Awesome, hope you keep a sane head, and a bullet shaped poem, next to your bed,

[magensby]

So true. Sometimes out of nowhere a memory pops in your head. You were thinking about that and there it is reminding you of that past pain. It takes a lot of strength to push through it but we must. One minute at a time. The key is to not let it overwhelm us which can be easier said than done. Keep trying though that is all we can do.

Thnx for the read.