But Hay, I am Still Here!

The nightly walk to get his alcohol

to top him up. As he can not cope

with life in general.

Me and my mother.

I go with her to protect her.

As scared she might get mugged

for the alcohol or just in general.

As the neighbourhood is not nice.

Every night without fail

this was her chore.

He sat on his throne in the living room

getting drunk drinking beer.

In front of everyone over the next few late hours

at night. And then walking to the loo.

The bedroom next to bedroom to drink his whiskey in

private. To get drunk quicker.

Then back to the living room to carry on with his beer and

tv show.

This was his routine. This was his way

of coping with his life.

No wonder my mother ended up turning

to alcohol herself. And I,  so fucked up.

Outwith the other abuse, I actually got.

As for my grandmother. She was no help

at all. She was awful.

And any other family. I had didn't give

a s**t either. On our own basically.

My poor mother was battered bruised and

raped at times herself. And my father was

a quiet, reserved man when sober. When drunk

that another issue!

My mother turned to me for comfort.

Sex and love. And I ended up double

fucked and abused due to them both.

My grandmother turned a blind eye to all.

As long as she was okay.

Everthing was great in her eyes.

Twisted broken family.

But hay. I am still here.

Ironically she never left him. Always loved him

no matter what. And they both dead now.

 

Reviews

[angel]

I'm sorry. My dad drank, and my mom divorced him. I got a stepfather who hated me, and he got a 5 year old, redheaded stepchild to beat.
Happy ending, though, for me. Dad cleaned up his act and got Mom away from the racist, violent man she had married. When the divorce was final, my parents remarried. By this time, I was fourteen.That was a great year;1967, the summer of love.Sgt. Pepper summer! Everything was cool after that.
I only wish you had had it better. So many broken people come here. We have to try to be the glue that holds each other together.
I hope things are better for you now.
Incest hurts. I know. My cousin Patty's dad molested her. Not sure how far it went, but as a teen, she was very fucked up. She talked to me about it a lot, but I was just a kid and didn't really understand.
Be well, and stay close. Your friends will lift you up.

[Onlyme]

thanks angel, your a sweetheart. hugs Dawn glad to hear things workes out for your family. and sorry to hear about your cousin.

[angel]

She's okay now, a missionary in Africa, married, and very happy. She had three kids, and is doing great.

[Carola]

woweee! your childhood certainly was abusive that's for sure.
i believe writing about your past helps with letting go, & at the same time you're sharpening your writing skills.
i believe these days kids learn at school to go & tell someone & get help, am i right ?
best wishes, carola

[Onlyme]

I sure did have an interesting childhood to say the least. But not in a good way at all. I believe so. Nowadays. It's easier to report abuse of anytime. Unlike in my day. Sadly how life changes. Not alway for the good. Things like what happened to me. Should never happen to anyone. Young or old. Thanks Carola for your comments.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Dawn, I had a very happy upbringing with my parents and 4 siblings. It is so upsetting to hear cases like yours. I am so sorry you suffered in this awful way. Sending you hugs (( )). I think you are brave writing about it.

Chris

[Onlyme]

That just life Chris, iam one of so many. But thank you for your kindness Chris. hugs Dawn.

[wordman]

sad situation dawn, i guess a lot of people are in the same boat and just don`t talk about it

[Onlyme]

I can understand and relate to that also. Me older now and don't give a s**t who knows. Needs to be said out loud for me. To break the chains that hold me back. So to speak.

[wordman]

yes , i agree it should be told

[Onlyme]

Thanks Ron for your support. And kindness. hugs Dawn.

[wordman]

my pleasure dawn

[Onlyme]

Ron you know my answer. Your a great guy. Thanks.

[wordman]

well there's a few on here that would disagree dawn,

[Onlyme]

Well Ron their Arseholes.. not worth thinking about.

[wordman]

no,just listen to bull s**t from other people that have a vendetta for me dawn,the troll hates me because i take up for people,two people in love i guess that i didn`t say the right thing to ,,just back stabbing gossip and they are afraid to tell the truth,,single minded people that can`t think for them selves

[Onlyme]

Wow really that is so sad Ron. Well I like you. And love you. Best of without people like that you stab you in the back with gossip. You dont need that Ron.

[wordman]

i hope you are having a better day dawn,i know you`re not by reading your words,seems you have a lot on your plate

[Onlyme]

Not to bad thanks Ron. going to watch tv with man. Keep your spirits up Ron. Fucked them all. anytime drop me a line. okay. Dawn.

[wordman]

dawn,i could care less,you know me by now,hell i give good reviews,their loss ,lol

[Onlyme]

Ron your honest and decent and kimd hearted and take no prisoners. i love that.

[wordman]

yeap,you`re right..