Saudade

He wanted her world to be him and when he was her world, he’ll push her away.

He would make her feel unwanted, he would hurt him. He knew that she couldn’t leave him anyway.

The cycle goes for like a thousand times. He hurt her, she was hurt. But still her heart stays with him and his beautiful smiles.

One day he told her, he was in love with someone new. She patiently waited for ages and at the end she wouldn’t win his heart, but still her love grew.

She had been patient, she had been adjusting, and she had been accepting all his flaws.

For her, Her feeling couldn’t be bought in any forms of cause. (or cost)

He was sweet, despite of him being cold to her most of the time…

He studied and worked at the same time…

He was cool, the fact that he could drive and didn’t know how to smoke,

She knew, there was no way for her to get provoked.

She remembered all the late night talks she had with him, all the confessions he made, and all the sweet little things that made her fall

While she was stuck in her room staring at her bed room walls

She was thinking of him being with someone better that her,

She was thinking of him being cute and happy with her.

She thought, he was enjoying every single moment he was having with her,

Does the thought that, someone is maybe crying because of me every night, passed his head like ever?

She thought not. Maybe she was already forgotten.

But is it really possible to hate and love a person at the same time?

Stop the tape and rewind.

She was bothered, she was disoriented, and she felt devastated.

She just wanted to turn back time and make things right again.

She still didn’t want to give up even though half of her died when he left.

For her, the love she felt for him is the thing she will never forget.

She is confused.

She is in pain.

She wants him back…

Her whole life is flooded because of the non-stop rain.

She just wants him to look at her just like the way she looks up to him.

She still wants him.

He will never understand all her pain, all she’s been going through the moment he left.

She had been living in her daydreams for her to survive the day…

But the reality slapped her and waked her up every day.

She ‘s standing in between.

She’s been feeling like standing in a thin thread and making a single move will make her fall into a deep deep deep black hole.

She’s crying because of his new Her.

She’s confused.

She’s stuck.

She may be forgotten.

But her heart stays with him.