I Was Not Meant to Be Loved

Maybe love was not made for me

I sit on the floor 

of my newly carpeted room

searching for answers

in the white crackled ceiling

and find nothing

but imaginary shapes of hope

in the bumps that preside in it. 

There is no meaning to this,

broken hearts laying down

final words as they rest easy,

hardly trying to find love again

in the things they lost,

criticizing every act of affection

and disowning the thought of recovery.

I imagine the sky

changing past the roof above where my eyes meet

the ceiling

while I sit here decaying with the thought

that no one will ever love me

like I want them to

and no one will ever want me 

if I don’t even want myself,

how do I get through a life

where there is no affection to be found?

I sink into the carpet,

eyes red against plush blue

wondering if I’ll ever accept

that some people aren’t meant to be loved

and maybe I am one of them. 

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

Perhaps no one can love you like you want them to. Demands tend to make people shy away. A well written poem, full of moving imagery. I hope your search ends soon.

[Ally Ann]

Idealization of a partner is definitely a problem for many people, including me. It is also hard to believe that someone loves you, if you don't see anything worth loving within yourself. That is often where people struggle as well. Thanks for your thoughts on this poem, it means a lot.

[Coyote Poetry]

Your words are true Ally Ann. We must love ourselves. Hard to love when we dislike who we are. I believe greatest wisdom we learn is. We accept our strength and weaknesses. Accept who we are. Powerful and worthwhile words shared. You made the reader think.
Coyote

[Ally Ann]

I agree, it is an important lesson to learn, but it is one of the hardest. Self-esteem is so tricky, and can infiltrate so many parts of one's life. Thank you for your kind review.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked this one and you are welcome Ally.