No Child

The thought at never having a child
of my own scares and saddens me greatly.
I have always wanted a child since
I could remember.
I want to be a mother
to a child from my own womb.
I want to be able to feel
that precious life growing inside of me.
I want to look into
those gorgeous eyes and
know that I helped create that.
That I can pass on
a little bit of myself onto someone else.

I have been told that
my most dear and precious dream
may never come true.
I've cried many a nights
over this news.
I've literally made myself sick
just thinking that I cannot
do something in which women
were created to do.

I have yearned for this more
than men yearn to be rich, respected, and accepted.
I have yearned for this more
than a gold digger does gold.
More than the sunflowers yearn
for the sun to return.
More than the parched Earth yearns
for the long awaited rain.

If this was something that I had control over,
then I would have my own child
even if it means the loss of my own life.