Then She Smiled

Every day routine

Walks down the hall

Dim lights

Hair straight down 

Sleeves past her finger tips

Walls so ancient

Lockers so rusty

Grey clouds passing those doors

Never made time to smile 

They feared her

Walk past her

Give her a sneer look

Until one day

She stood up from her chair and ran 

No one knew where to 

They followed 

She began to dance in the rain 

With complete amazement to them

She was smiling and laughing

Like a five year old girl

No one spoke 

No one moved

No lightning appeared

But within seconds

Her mom appeared from above

They began dancing together

Author's Note

Thank you for your reviews friends! I tried something kind of new so I hope it turned okay or if it needs any improvement.

Reviews

[Shubhangi]

i loved the last line the most 'mom appeared and they danced together'...gives a positive touch and a smile on readers face.

[Mary Ochoa]

I'm really glad you enjoyed this read and giving readers a positive touch and a smile:) Thank you!

[Bowers]

wow.. this is touching in a weird way, I love it! The aspect of her mom coming from the sky to earth to dance with her, perhaps the pain of her lose being what has pulled her down... The idea that others were afraid of her.. a very interesting piece here, great write!

[Mary Ochoa]

Thank you so much for observing this piece. I really appreciate you reading:) I'm really pleased to know that you enjoyed this read:)
I wanted to show the deep relationship the daughter had with her mom who had passed away.

[RAOrourke]

Beautiful end to your poem. This really created a vibrant image for me as I read this. Well done!

[Mary Ochoa]

Thank you so much friend! I really appreciate your kind review:)

[DrD]

What this work does is tease the imagination and that's fine. The imagry is excellent and the concept is sound. I saw a little tense problem with "They feared her, Walk past her, Give her a sneer look." You put "feared" in the past tense but make the following lines in the present. Small thing but I'm a pefectionist, forgive me. Pero en todo, muy linda, una poema tan bonita. Felizidades.

[Mary Ochoa]

Thank you that great observation friend! I really appreciate your review and for reading my work! :)

[New Theory]

This was different from your usual and I would say I am quiet impressed by this little beauty.

[Mary Ochoa]

Thank you so much! I wanted to be a rebel and write something different outside my usual write:) I really appreciate your review and you reading my work!:)

[New Theory]

You are welcome :)

[Margo Seuss]

Hmm, something different from what you usually do. I like this. The ending is quite the scene! Rain and angels and a smiling girl! Such beauty!

[Mary Ochoa]

Yes I thought I would try something different for a change in my writing:) Thank you for reading friend! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful ending to the poem. I like the poetry with good story and a happy ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mary Ochoa]

I'm so gad you were pleased with this read! Thank you so much! :)

[A. Amos]

Life is all about happy moments and you portrait well...as always great work:)

[Mary Ochoa]

Thank you so much Amos! :)

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my dear