Velvet Night

I wrote this a few years ago. Just a fantasy.

I lay down on the grass
One velvet night
Examining my reflection in the glimmering stars
The clouds smell like earth
And the moon is a diamond scar
Across the sky's face

Moonlight is a silver shower
A crystal sea
A gemstone dream
An ashen seam
A colorless beam
A waterfall of foamy white
Dancing down the sky of night
Gushing down with all its might
Gliding from unreachable heights

It starts to rain
And the stars vanish into the clouds
I want to feel the water leaking through my skin
Drench myself with stardust within
My hands are gently stroking grass
Like it would a lover's hair
I caress the frigid crystalline roses
Dying slowly in the icy air

The drops of rain, hail, and snow
Colored in purple, as they start to glow
Fall into the enraged sea
As it yells and moans and beckons me

It's a monochromatic night
Where pale colors dance in the moonlit trees

Now, as I lay on the damp meadow
I slowly die away
And fade into the remaining drizzle
A fantasy I can now be part of forever
The memories of a picturesque, glacial, mystic night 
Is now branded into my mind as a chaste, pristine wonder
An amethyst getaway
Refuge of the rain
Keeping my visit a secret--

Free of my subtle, human intervention

Author's Note

It may not be so coordinated or consistent, but you should release your imagination on this one!

Reviews

[The Flawed]

Well done I love the way you paint a picture with your poem, every word like a new brush stoke giving the picture more color and depth.
But what do I know?
Good job

[Adela Muresan]

Wow, this has such a wonderful imagery :) , and it also relaxing somehow :].
Good write.

A.M.

[GetTheHellOut]

Awesome vocabulary and use of words. An outstanding description that makes the imagination of the reader flow. An amazing piece. Excellent work.

[Don Coorough]

This is beautiful writing! Very impressive use of symbols as metaphors. You seem to get into the subconscious and provide glimpses for the only conscious. The music in the poem changes, leading the reader to move from section to section, and to feel different emotions in each one. Letting go of the conscious self in here opens one to the interconnection of everything and everyone. I'm awash in a peaceful calm! Excellent! - EllisD

[Emily Elizabeth]

You just keep on better and better!! I'm really impressed, and envious! Your talent shines.
Well, there's not much else I can say. There's nothing to critique it on, just a whole orchestra of praise!
:D
XXX

[Orlando Murcia]

Damn double Damn!!
This is awsome big O
I love your way with words on
yhis poem that you have perfected so well
All I can say is Awsome job bro and keep doing
what you're doing

Great job

Orlando

[Siddartha Beth Pierce]

Stunning description in this - I could feel the cool breeze as I lay in the grass and experienced the wonder of such a scenario. Thank you. Just lovely.
Light,
Siddartha

[KAREN BROWN]

I think your poem is great,It shows me that some accually see the beauty of things Gods created for us. well put. thank you for sharing this with me. keep writing you have a why with words and it comes from your soul. when you can please read mine I would appreciate it thank you.

[Wildfleour]

Haresh requested that I read this poem and I'm glad I did. There are lovely images that dance throughout this piece, but my favorite lines are:

It's a monochromatic night
Where pale colors dance in the moonlit trees

you should choose a song that will jive with this piece.

I am thinking something by Enya or Charlotte Church...

Nice