While You Were Away

While You Were Away

Well it's been so long 

since I last saw you baby 

I was diagnosed stir crazy 

while you were on hiatus 

I planned to pace around the house 

but was too goshdarned lazy 

cause I'd mainlined whiskey  

to such extremes I couldn't take it

While you were gone 

I was going absolutely mad 

but I've become more aggravated 

now that you've come back 

So where'd you go 

what'd you do that's all I'm asking

did you take a cruise to Timbuktu 

or a red eye flight to Aspen 

you may have gone Greyhound 

or maybe you took a train

wish you would just tell me 

what went on while you were away

If you got lost in the Bermuda Triangle 

just let me know and I'll empathize 

if you earned a role in a Shakespeare number 

I'll grab all the tickets I can buy

but this total lack of cominca 

has driven me to the brink 

because my mind is double parking 

on the worst things i can think 

my imagination has run away 

and eloped with common sense 

something took place while you were gone 

but I can't figure out what it is 

If you were taken by ufo's 

I'd understand the change 

you act as if some mad scientist 

removed the working part of your brain

you used to be a normal girl 

but lately things aren't the same 

wish you'd just tell me what went on 

while you were away