The Curse of the Combustible Cannibal Cheerleaders

Yet another odd tale of Gnott Hardlee High.

The Curse of the Combustible Cannibal Cheerleaders 

Something’s gone awry at Gnott Hardlee High  

the cheerleaders are on a rampage 

and everyone’s gonna die 

they got stoned on tainted grass and now they’re feasting on the senior class 

if they don’t consume the student's bodies 

they’ll spontaneously explode

 

Horris was the mayor’s boy

an odd little boy indeed

he’d sneak behind the bleachers 

and cook down his homemade weed 

using his dad’s binoculars 

he’d watch the girl’s perform 

the routines they did drove him crazy 

and he loved their uniforms

 

But one day he got careless 

got excited and got caught 

they made jokes at his expense 

and refused redemption Horris sought

 

Not one for being mocked 

this disturbed chemist devised a plan 

to get revenge on all the girls 

any clever way he can 

he schemed long and hard 

till he thought his brain would snap 

and then it all became apparent 

while conducting tests on his cat

 

It wouldn’t be that difficult 

for a boy with his intelligence 

just a couple acids and a compound 

yeah that’d do the trick 

he started mixing chemicals 

and worked at it for weeks 

tested his formula on lots of lab rats 

and thought he had them beat

 

He figured he would turn 

those thin country gals 

into fat disgusting cows 

but there was an unexpected reaction 

he failed to figure out 

it didn’t take Horris long to realize 

he’d made a dreadful error 

as he watched Heaven Leigh Harris 

feast on the freshman class in terror

 

The school hallways were soon littered 

with half eaten corpses of his friends 

it seemed the cheerleaders had discovered 

a disgusting new trend 

it was a flesh eating diet 

but soon there was no one left to supply it 

and when the food supply was gone 

they exploded on the spot