A Mime

A Mime

A Poem by oliviabush

There is a friend of mine

Who thinks that she is a mime
She will walk around like she is in a box
Wearing pink and purple socks
She is an odd sort of friend
True and silent to the end
You can tell her a secret
And she will never repeat it
For who has the time
To stand and watch the story of a mime

© 2008 oliviabush


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This was great! I loved the last two lines. They put a cool twist on this, that brought the hole poem into the range of Awesome!

Two suggestions; You may want to use contractions, it will shorten some of the lines and stream line the flow.
And secondly you have some filler words that you could leave out if you wanted to. For example in line 2
"Who thinks that she is a mime" could be "Who thinks she's a mime"
Just a possibility.
I love the images of your works that i've read thus far.
Keep up the good work

Sincerly,
Ashley :)

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on April 14, 2008

Author

oliviabush
oliviabush

Winter Park, FL



Writing
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A Poem by oliviabush