20

The coffin was finally buried into the ground, the flowers put on the grave, and the funeral procession moved to the cars to go to the wake at Kruglovo.

The guys walking beside me persuaded me to share a ride with them in the funeral bus. And I said yes immediately, without thinking twice.

The bus that had delivered the coffin was almost empty. Tanya and I accompanied by my ‘suitors’ got on, and the guys began to fight for the seat taken next to me.

“Tanya, get off here, quick!” said the blonde guy audaciously, “Please! I wanna sit down by her… Come on, be a friend…”

“Here you go. I don’t care,” replied my cousin with a snort and took another seat.

The bus started. The blonde guy intending to take the seat next to me lost his footing and fell down on his knee right by my feet - just like in a cheap novel.

“May I?” he asked timidly, looking into my eyes.

“May what?” said I not getting it.

“You’ll understand when you’re older”

“Aren’t I old enough now?”

“Not yet. But in a couple years you’ll have all guys at your feet.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because you are beautiful…”

I couldn’t believe it. Was I - beautiful? Me, the ugly duckling who had constantly been told by every Tom, Dick and Harry that I was “frumpy”, “nerdy”, “chinese”, “cross-eyes”, “just a little bugger and no more”… The list could indeed go on ad infinitum.

And now, for the first time, the strange young men had told me that I - I! - was beautiful…

Of course, later I guessed that they both had been dead drunk at that moment. It was no wonder - one couldn’t be digging a hole in the rain and cold of a chilly September morning without knocking down a bottle of cheap vodka. I bet the next day both my ‘suitors’ had a terrible hangover and they couldn’t even remember my face, not to mention my name. They would probably have never recognized me had they had a chance to meet me again.

But at that moment, as I sat on the bus surrounded by male attention, there was something making me believe their words that they both were crazy about me and my beauty. And, as I looked through the window at the conveyor belt of the wet asphalt road, I really believed myself beautiful - I believed myself gorgeous, fabuluos, like a superstar…