You are not a merciful leader

If you don't care about the seasons

why should I expect you to care about how my eyes roll inside my head with pleasure every time I see you

 

If you don't care about the seasons

why should I expect you to kiss my cheek before I step in front of a train

 

If you don't care about the seasons

why should the complexity of another human intrude on your perfect horizon

because all anyone who cares for you seems to be the smallest pebble on your beach

 

If you don't care about the seasons

why do you think it matters at all that sometimes you can mean more to a person that the air they breathe

and how one sentence from you can turn the world on the point of a blade back into their skin

 

If you don't care about the seasons

why do you think it matters that blood even runs through veins  

 

If you don't care about the seasons

why do you expect that I do not cherish them with all my heart

Reviews

[KirstMind]

Loved the depth of this piece!

[oliverandfilm]

thanks for reading :)

[Amy J]

This is truly incredible! I felt the angry and resentment in the writing. Very nicely written, love the repetition and story conveyed. Really enjoyed reading this!

[oliverandfilm]

I'm glad you liked and understood it :)

[Sadashivan Nair]

If you don't care the season, something clicks in my mind. It's true....

[oliverandfilm]

I'm glad you engaged with it my good sir

[Saddam]

You are truly the best penny, Beautifully express the line dear.

[oliverandfilm]

I'm honored, thank you

[Laura Lynn]

This is one of the most beautiful poems I ever have read! I'm serious. If I were famous, that would be a lot coming from me.

[oliverandfilm]

thank you so so much, i really don't think it matters if you were famous or not, it means a lot that you liked it.

[ANTO]

I got such a sense of difference of non-sync betwen the two - one a poetic minded individual the ohter very much 'down to earth' as they say unconcerned with such luxuries. The frustration of the two being unable to find common ground and yet there is love (or duty) keeping them entwined.

[oliverandfilm]

wow, you're spot on! that's almost the exact characters I was trying to convey, you have a masterful way of reading into things sir

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem. Your description made me want to know more.
"If you don't care about the seasons
why should the complexity of another human intrude on your perfect horizon
because all anyone who cares for you seems to be the smallest pebble on your beach"
I agree need true and real concern. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[oliverandfilm]

I'm glad you liked it, thanks for commenting :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Rene Salinas]

A cyclic form it normally refers to the musical language really, found in pedal music or gamelan or really another genre. It refers to a constant theme. Not difficult to spot here! "If you don't care about the seasons". It works here as the spine which holds the writing. The risks of course that it becomes repetitive and here I need to make a disctinction due to the fact that this comment gets misinterpreted. It seems that some readers read the cyclic theme and browse through rather then focus on the writing. That is a risk not a must! On a personal level I avoid cyclic themes, tried it once and well I cant say I succeeded "if you know what I mean". However what I find most intriguing in this case is that it could be turned on its head. For every statement there is a question and it kept me guessing. As it offers no answers. That's just cheeky but also interesting. It ends up being a crescendo of intentisty. I went from Oh, Oh + 1 , Oh + 2 all they way to Oh + n until the end.

I soon realized I need more reads.

The more it wondered the more human the writing became and less subjective.

I found this clever!

Thank You for the invite!

[oliverandfilm]

I never really thought about it like that, I'm glad you liked it. I've never really been taught the art or intricacies of poetry/spoken word writing and i guess it's pretty obvious but its fantastic that you've explained exactly what I've done without even meaning to! thank you :)

[Chain of Hearts]

I love how you made this poem so sentimental and full of feeling. I can see how heartfelt and emotional this poem is. I think 'If you don't care about the seasons' makes the poem exaggerate how meaningful that means. Great piece!

[oliverandfilm]

thanks! I did get a bit emotional when the idea for this one first came to me :)

[Alex]

WOW! This is awesome! Love the repetition to signify a new stanza, it also creates a spring-board for the emotion delivered afterwards. Stanza three is killer, it is perfectly worded and packs a punch when reading it. I love the 'point of a blade' image, I love it all! Really affected me, its powerful yet has a gentle air to it also- well done Olly!!~~Shelved.

[oliverandfilm]

thank you so much Alex, it really means a lot that you liked it :)